So school has really been stressing me out this week because I have a lot of stuff going on (multiple projects, exams in a week, etc.) and last night I felt really stressed and worried about how I was going to manage to deal with all of the stuff I had to do/had coming up. I started crying and ended up crying for like 10-15 minutes which is really odd for me because I normally don't cry that much. Typically I get like single digit amounts of tears, but I cried a lot more than is usual for me. Also I just felt like I couldn't do everything I had to and that I just wasn't going to make it through this (not in a dying sort of way, just like I'm gonna not be able to finish all my work and people are going to hate me because I can't deal with my commitments). Is this just a normal reaction to stress or should I be worried about it? One other thing is I have a fear of failure that's a lot bigger than I thought it was. For example, I felt like I couldn't manage to do everything that was worrying me but I didn't feel like I could ask anyone for help because I didn't want to let anyone know that I can't handle everything on my own, I was worried that my friends would judge me (even though they probably wouldn't) and I didn't want to be a burden to anyone. In general I'm just afraid to ask for help because I'm worried that people will judge me or that they'll think less of me because I had to ask for help (typically this isn't an issue for smaller things like schoolwork but more for stuff like stress and overload and emotional stuff). Is there anything I can do to get over this? I know asking for help is a good thing to do but IDK how to do it and how to ask without feeling like I'm being judged. Basically I have no idea how to approach my stress and reaction to it because of my fear of failure and getting help, but I don't know how to deal with that either because I don't like getting help.
BandGeek26.....Hello...I'm glad that you have found empty closets! I'm kind of a band geek too! I just saw your post and don't have enough time tonight to respond very much....so I'll say Hi! for now, and tomorrow afternoon I'll get back to you with another post! .....David
Crying is a GOOD thing, i wish I could cry! It's a good release and often the person feels better after a cry. If you need to cry, let it all out. Perhaps you need to talk with someone at school about the school pressures? Again there's no shame in asking for help. A counsellor or therapist? Your on this forum so obviously your sexuality may be a part of all that's overwelming you in your head. You could talk to a counselor about everything and have a good off load. Exercise, do some form of exercise that really helps, as I know from personal experience. Please consider a little help and I think you will then feel better.... I'm in my 40s and having counselling, there's no shame.... Warm regards Jon...
BandGeek26.....Hello again! I said I'd be back and here I am. Feeling overwhelmed is not uncommon at all. Feeling like you'll never be able to finish a project/assignment is pretty normal too. I fought with that for years until a friend of mine told me what he did...hope this helps. Instead of letting the whole project set there and overwhelm you, look at one small part and ignore the rest. Then give yourself enough time to do just that one small part. Finish it and walk away. Doing one small part isn't too difficult and you can do it! After a little while come back and repeat...again, just one small part. In a while, you'll find that the whole project is getting smaller and smaller and is no longer such a huge cloud hanging over you. This worked really well for me and I still do it when I have a large project that I need to do. Now...as for being a band geek...I recently retired after 41 years as a high school band director. With seven years playing from 6th grade to 12th grade and four more years in college, that makes 52 straight years in band! So yeah, I'm a band geek! It was great though, I got to do a lot of things that I'd never have done if I wasn't in band that whole time. I've played for the President of the United States, did a concert on the lawn outside the White House, a concert in Philadelphia in front of Constitution Hall, marched in the Portland and the Pasadena Rose Parade 3 times, played on TV and a lot more. I love sports too, but no way could I have played football or basketball like this for 52 years...and I still play numerous times a year! Stick with the band...it's worth it! .....David
