I wasn't sure where to put this, but thought maybe family since it has to do with how a lot of people grow up, at least what I thought was normal where I grew up. https://www.psychologytoday.com/int...eglect-makes-you-feel-excessively-responsible A common phrase was don't cry or I'll give you something to cry about. That's terribly damaging to a child, a parent not caring why the kid is so upset! Then threatening to hit the kid if they don't stop crying, that's messed up. Punishment for having feelings, that's not what Mr. Rogers taught us! I saw the link in a place for CPTSD I read sometimes and wondered if it might be insightful here for anyone. I think Psychology Today is decent, but if not let us know, open to any convo about the piece so people get good info. about these topics. Then again it's not fun stuff to talk about either.
This also came up in the discussion where I found that, a book I should read. Any of you read it? Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents
I definitely see a lot of those traits in myself. Not punishment for emotions per se, but you couldn't expect more than half a sentence as a reply to whatever was bothering you. "Emotional neglect is nothing your parents did to you. Instead, it’s what they failed to do for you." My therapist and I have talked a lot about it. Our parents are huge role models for us as kids. Healthy and unhealthy things they do, during such an extended/important time in our lives, can really impact us well into adulthood. You can't expect a child to be able to acknowledge and process their emotions healthily without role models or help. And it's hard to expect that from adults who missed out on years and years of "practice". An interesting article for sure. Haven't read the book though.
