Are you in a position to be able to order a binder? I'm assuming that's what you want, right? I have a part time job so i just ordered one online, amazon is always on time. So i just had to make sure it would come on a day i had off work, so i can ensure i will be the one to answer the door or at least all they would need to do is yell that i got a package. If you're a minor and have no job (or are too young), if you've got cash or any kind of birthday or holiday money, you can put that on a prepaid visa card and use it like any ordinary credit card. If you absolutely can't risk sending it to your house, send it to a friend's house with their permission. I've heard there are drop off places, i wanna say for amazon? i don't remember the details but there's points you can get packages dropped off at and pick them up there instead of at your house. If you simply can't afford one, there are programs out there that give away free binders. I never needed one so i don't know the details but i know they do exist and are an option.
Unfortunately, my parents would be suspicious if they found out I'd ordered a package and I can't risk them being there when it arrives (even if I'm there too, cause they'll still ask what it is). I've thought about sending it to a friend but I've only told one person about that I've been dealing with and they're in a similar position in regards to their parents. I haven't heard about these drop off points before but unfortunately I can't drive yet so if I can't get there on a bus (and there's only one bus that stops near my house) then I don't think I'd be able to do that either.
My mom is the type that would kick me out instantly if she suspected i liked girls or was trans, let alone both lol. If she asks, i just lie if its not something i can be truthful about. My mom's easy to lie though cause she won't pry beyond asking what i got. She wouldn't want to look at it or whatnot. Do you have an LGBT club or such at school? If so maybe they can help you figure something out.
Unfortunately, my mum is the type to pry further than just asking. I've told my mum I'm bisexual (but I'm actually pansexual but she's talked about how it's stupid that there are all these different terms now, so I figured it was just easier to tell her I am bi) and she was fine with it. But I don't think she'd be as open to me being trans*. I don't even know whether I'm trans* or non-binary or anything at the moment which is one of the reasons I'd like to be able to experiment. But when I got my hair cut short, my parents kept saying I looked like a guy which I was fine with, but the way they said it was like it was a bad thing. That's stopped now but I'm really wary about what their reactions would be if I told them. I'm actually at university now (first year) and there is an LGBT club but they don't have weekly meetings and when they do get together, it seems to always be on a time when I'm already busy. I'm also really scared about going to the meetings as well.
That's actually the part i'm terrified of! I really want to cut my hair - its bothered me for years, i'm not even exaggerating. But i have never had short hair cause mom loved how it looked long, and honestly i've never seen it short. I'm terrified that i'm gonna get it cut and look ugly as fuck. Aww that sucks about the meetings. I would be scared too. Simultaneously scared but safe enough to go as Alex, if that makes sense. Sorry your family reacted to your hair like that. Hey does your university have a mail office? My first one did, and idk the stipulations but i knew a girl who had a mail box at the university cause she was from out of state living in the dorms. Worst come to worst, i once made a binder out of a maidenform shapewear cami type garment. Idk what the name was but it was maidenform brand, meant to make you look slimmer, and its a top so i assume it was safe?? idk tbh. But i cut it up and it didn't flatten me much, but it was better than just a bra. But like i said, idk how safe it was even if it was meant to be worn as a top. Oh try compression bras, they're meant for exercising and running in. I've never owned one, but I've heard it recommended a lot. Sorry to ramble like this, I'm just trying to throw ideas out there. Dysphoria sucks
That's okay. Thanks so much for your help by the way. I'm not sure about the mail office. I might have to look into that. I know what you mean about the hair. I was so scared to cut mine. I used to have really long hair and gradually just kept getting it cut shorter and shorter until I finally went really short. Unfortunately, it's still not as short as I'd like, but my mum won't let me go any shorter. She often says she thought I looked prettier with long hair and she often says it when we have the family over too so that sucks. I also really want to colour my hair blue or at least get a blue streak which she hates even more than the idea of me getting it cut shorter. Luckily, I'll be 18 at the end of the year and will be able to hopefully do what I want then.
My mom's been so lax with me since i turned 18. She was and still is the stereotypical strict overbearing overprotective mother, but its like after 18...it just changed. She not a helicopter parent anymore. Maybe your parents will do that too. Yeah if/when i cut my hair, i'm literally never gonna hear the end of it. She envies my hair. She still tells the story to this day of when she took me as a toddler to the hairdresser and asked what style would look best on me, and how she's kept it like how it was suggested ever since.
Yeah. That sucks. I really want to get my hair cut like the half shaved thing but my mum said she'd disown me if I ever shaved my hair (unless it was for a charity)
Been reading this and this is to both of you, I feel your pain just from the other end, I'm MtF my main advice would be, at some point, to be happy you need to go through with this and come out (The soon the better) just make sure you have options if it were to go bad. Don't wait too long either I always had a reason why I couldn't, why it wasn't the right time, that the disphoria wasn't turning me into a suicidal basketcase.... unfortunately now I am 30 I've been fulltime for 2 years and on hrt for less than half that and I'm the happiest I've ever been... but again if either of you decide to come out to your families just make sure you have an out... a friend or relative you trust that knows the situation and would help you.... another thing is, parents might surprise you on how they react, it could be negative it could be positive who knows but over half the time the parents come around, I mean my parents are split my mom loves her daughter, wasn't always that way and my dad doesn't want anything to do with me.... all I'm trying to say is be careful, you never know until you try and PLZ PLZ don't wait too long to make yourself happy it's hard at times yes that's for damn sure but omg it's sooo worth it.
