1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

Don't know what to title this...

Discussion in 'Gender Identity and Expression' started by Matto_Corvo, Aug 13, 2017 at 3:11 AM.

  1. Matto_Corvo

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Apr 8, 2015
    Messages:
    5,600
    Likes Received:
    9
    Location:
    Portland, Oregon
    Gender:
    Male (trans*)
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Some people
    Lately I have noticed me being trans seems to be...less there? Not saying that it is gone, just that it no longer consumes my waking thoughts like it use to when I first realized I was trans. This sometimes had me thinking things like "Am I even trans?"
    But then when I think back on my past; saying I would grow to be a boy when I was 3, the massive amounts of dysphoria i felt from the ages of 13-18, and how I currently can not imagine a life where I remain female in body..yeah then I know I am trans

    It gets all rather confusing. I hardly even feel dysphoria these days which makes it all the more confusing. Yeah, I refuse to leave the house if I don't have a binder/sports bra on, and I hate having to say I am female on job applications when everyone I know in my new homes calls me by male name and pronouns, but at the same time none of that really bothers me as much as it use to. So I start wondering if I am less trans, or maybe I am just getting use to everything and allowing worries like getting a job and starting to school to take up most of my time instead of being trans.
     
  2. gravechild

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Mar 20, 2013
    Messages:
    10,047
    Likes Received:
    1
    Gender:
    Androgyne
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    A few people
    I don't think every trans person has their transness at the front of their concerns 24/7. Some suppress it for years, so unless you literally go the rest of your life identifying with your assigned gender with no discomfort, I wouldn't rule out being trans. I guess it's similar for the majority of cis people most of the time, who take things for granted?
     
  3. BradThePug

    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jun 21, 2011
    Messages:
    16,111
    Likes Received:
    21
    Location:
    Northeast Ohio
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    As time goes on, the shock of it seems to lessen. It's almost like you get used to the feelings that once hurt before. Like @gravechild said, it is not something that is all consuming at all times. Sometimes the feelings are stronger, and other times they are not.
     
    gravechild likes this.
  4. Eveline

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Feb 17, 2015
    Messages:
    2,281
    Likes Received:
    5
    Location:
    home
    Gender:
    Female (trans*)
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    A few people
    Think of how you felt before you figured out that you were trans. The dysphoria was there in the background but not impossible to cope with. Learning that you were trans came with an increase in dysphoria to levels that forced you to make some changes in your life to relieve some of the dysphoria. However, over time the dysphoria returns back to normal but the changes that you made continue to help reduce dysphoria, so the level of dysphoria is actually much lower than what it was before you realized you were trans.

    It reminds me a bit of how people act after taking some types of medications for a long period of time, especially those that have to do with metal problems. If the medication works and the person feels better, they will start doubting needing the medication because they feel fine. However, when they stop taking the medication things tend to go back to what they were and they remember why they needed the medication in tbe first place.
     
    newts and Crisalide like this.
  5. AaronV

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Dec 26, 2015
    Messages:
    397
    Likes Received:
    3
    Location:
    Berlin (Germany)
    Gender:
    Male
    I agree with the others and think it's not uncommon to get used to dysphoria in some sense or learn how to cope with it. I'd say it's a good thing to not have to worry about your gender every hour of every day. I personally felt way more social dysphoria than body dysphoria, so once I had my name and gender marker changed and people started addressing me correctly I frequently forgot that I'm trans. Nothing wrong with that.
     
  6. anthracite

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Apr 14, 2016
    Messages:
    1,592
    Likes Received:
    21
    Location:
    Germany
    Maybe due to social transition you feel more like a normal dude which might ease dysphoria. Got the same with my personal man-up routine. Don't worry.