I know it might take some people by surprise, but is it okay to just mention a girlfriend in a passing comment? Like I was just thinking straight folks don't sit down and have an "I'm straight" talk, so why should I give an "I'm gay" talk? I've never actually said I was either, but I assume I've been labeled as straight.
Of course you can! Nobody has the right to label you. If they assume you're straight and you correct them, that's fine. I personally do it like this at the moment, which means that not many people know my sexuality, but I don't want to have "the talk" with anybody because it's awkward and I am not that kind of person. I just include men and women as potential partners when I talk. They'll figure it out eventually. You should know it's safe though. Some people react negatively and then you shouldn't be dependent on them.
I for one hate labels, its the way society likes to keep us in groups and organize people. I wasn't a fan of having the coming out talk with my mom but I owed it to her to let her know I was attracted to men and not woman. That's really how I present myself now I just say I am attracted to men and not woman instead of just labeling myself as gay.
Fair points, and you can do this if you want, but there is some warning here: If you come out casually, you aren't going to know who knows you're lesbian or not, and that will drive you insane. Some people will pick it up right away and move on. Others will go "Wait... WHAT?!" and you will have to explain, and others yet will assume you're joking or talking about "girl crushes" that straight girls get when they are jealous of other girls.
it's ok if you're in a large gathering of semi-strangers you see rarely, like a wedding or reunion. They really don't need or deserve some kind of build up and it's not worth the stress to you. And in cases where they were always a prick about the subject, like my brother's best man, i rather enjoy making it awkward for them. I will make out with a guy right in front of them as a way to 'come out' but if it's the people who raised you or your best friend, you might wanna tell them first. Heterosexuals don't have to deal with 'the talk' because they're the vast majority. The person you'd just casually be introducing your partner to will have *assumed* for years that you're heterosexual, unless you'd given them reason not to. You don't need to lay that surprise on them, and at the same time they may have concerns about your safety (especially after orlando) or whatever and want to discuss that. They may also think you just don't care about their approval or support to treat it like an in passing moment i mean if you've been hiding it for years from parents or whatever, there's no point pretending that it's not a big revelation. There's no point pretending that gay people are always treated just the same or that it's just as common, if these are your reasons
