I never thought I say this in my life, but I am thinking about coming out. I always known that I was gay since I was about 6 yrs old. As kid I was bullied for being gay or for people thinking that I was gay. I even had counselors or teachers tell me if I was gay just keep it to myself. Or if they asked if I was gay, I said of course not, and when I said that one of my counselors told me “good girl.” I guess that’s why I am so messed up and hate being vulnerable. When I got to middle school, it was the worst 3 yrs of my life. I had girls laugh in my face when I would ask them out, I had girls scream “ew omg I am not gay” in front of everyone. I literally had people avoid me like I had the plague just because I was gay or thought I was. High school was better because I went to a totally different high school than the people I went to middle school with. It also helped that I only told like 2 people that I was gay. Now flash-forward to the present day 25 yr old that’s a mess. I guess because of my earlier yrs I feel like I messed a lot (dating, having sex, etc.) and when I like someone I feel so behind. I hate it, it takes me like forever to admit my feelings for someone and tell them I like them, seriously it’s so hard tell them, it’s like I choke on the words and my hands start trembling and its so hard for me to speak. I finally moved out of my mother’s house and now I live in an apartment with 3 of my cousins. I am slightly happier, but I still can’t be the person I want to be (I don’t know who I want to be). I’m still in the closet but basically everyone in my family probably know that this point that I am gay. My uncle always asks me if I am and tells me that he will still love me if I am, my mom and my dad talk about it (I know because my dad told me), and my sister is starting to ask me more and more. Like I don’t want them to know, but I know they know, no matter how much I deny it (because they always ask me. I don’t like being open. However, I do not know if it’s true, but I think coming out will help me. I don’t think I will come out to my family members in person, I’ll probably do it on the phone or on facetime and I’ll probably tell my uncle and my mom first. Is this wrong to do it this way? Does coming out actually help you feel better and help you in life? Will coming out help me feel more comfortable about being gay?