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Does anyone have any Femme les or lgbt struggles here?

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by Cind Ace, Sep 30, 2019.

  1. Cind Ace

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    I would just like to start a fun thread regarding the struggles we have in our lgbtq society in general.
    What are your struggles?
     
  2. Andrew99

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    Dating. It’s hard because my options are a lot more limited than most people. Also I’m picky too. Maybe that’s why I can’t get a date?
     
  3. Cind Ace

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    Hey Andrew,
    Ow i get you though we all have preferences and we are tend to be normally reserved. I have a close friend who is picky too but i know someday like you will find someone as well. Believe it was quite hard to do dating, I am a femme lesbian myself ,fortunately i met my first girlfriend and now my wife but it took awhile to meet someone especially when stereotype world is constantly in front of us.
     
    #3 Cind Ace, Sep 30, 2019
    Last edited: Sep 30, 2019
  4. Oliverrrrr

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    haha. I'm a bisexual male (for want of a term) and some would say that means I'm just not fussy. I would say the opposite is true - I'm very fussy indeed.
    So fussy in fact that the only way I could find someone to date was to throw the doors as wide open as possible.
    It worked in the end. I met a fem lesbian looking bi-woman and 18 years later the love is stronger than ever.
     
  5. chickencat

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    Femme-ish lesbian here- I'm into reasonably feminine girls and apparently this is sacrilege to Aphrodite.
     
  6. Oliverrrrr

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    Aww, they're out there, just....maybe pour old Aphrodite a libation of olive-oil, or honey or some such to appease her.

    Actually, the sure fire thing that puts off any potential paramour is that sense of hunger for a relationship. The best place to be is one of being happy in yourself, loving where you're at and able to give off the sense of emotional security that comes with it. Then Aphrodite is more likely to put receptive people in your path - all the while you're wanting she hides them all!
     
  7. Andrew99

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    Thanks for your response! I try to be hopeful that someone will come along. Your post is very encouraging. I’m glad you got married! :slight_smile:
     
  8. Cind Ace

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    Happy for you !! Everyone deserves an interesting rainbow love story!
     
  9. Cind Ace

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    I know its kinda hard, i don’t know how i found one but i know for sure she came when i didn't really expect it or would at least work out in the end but it did. Before i used to go out to a bar with my gay friends too but femme lookin are assumed like we are only too pretty to be a lesbian God i hate and i stopped going to clubs lol but hey she will really come along when u least expect it.
     
  10. Cind Ace

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    T
    Thank you . I hope you'll find one soon Andrew!
     
  11. chickencat

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    I look forward to the day that happens.
     
  12. chickencat

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    I'll make sure to look out for signs from her!
     
  13. Black78

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    I come from a place where coming out is not an option...so I will never know what it feels like
     
  14. LaurenSkye

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    Being gender-queer, and wanting to dress more feminine, I find it's very difficult to find clothes my size. I'm a tall guy (6'6") and it's not always easy to find even men's clothes that fit me, let alone women's. I have managed to find a couple of skirts that fit me. They have an elastic waist-band and I think are designed for women with larger backsides since they are almost too long for my 36-in long legs. And it's not just clothing, but accessories such as belts and gloves that seem to be non-existent in my size.
     
  15. cjmiller

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    My biggest issue right now is my wife...LOL
     
  16. Silver Snow

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    Living in a small town. All the lesbians are friends or at least know each other. Went on date with a girl who has a hot friend who is now single. How do I ask the best friend of a girl I dated out? Lol lesbian life.
     
  17. Lin1

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    I would just ask her, I have zero problem with girls dating people I have dated and if I felt you were a good match for my friend I would definitely hook you up, the only time I would be reluctant is if you had been super rude or done something bad on our date, but then I would probably still pass the number along and just warn her about my experience.

    I am going to assume you didn't pursue the first girl because there was no chemistry so can't see the pain in asking the other girl out.
     
  18. Silver Snow

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    Yeah, I wanted things to work out with the first girl, but we’re both too quiet together. I’ve always known I needed more outgoing friends to get me out of my shell, otherwise I remain closed off. I think she’s the same way and it just wasn’t working. The other girl is more lively and outgoing.
     
  19. Chizu

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    Quite a few. I live in a rural area, so it's really hard to find dates with guys my age. My area was decimated when its factories moved down south, and now it is steadily being gentrified by the 1%, so the only gay guys within a reasonable distance are either college students or rich old gay men. Ever since I started to grow too old for undergrads, my dating pool just started to plummet. My best options are grad students, but like all students, they are only here temporarily. I try to reach out to guys that are hours drive away, but way too many guys don't want to put up with long distance relationships.
    I sometimes wish I was more feminine, but it's hard when my body is just oozing with testosterone. A lot of people in the lgbt community just see me as this uber-masculine, macho guy, which I'm not on the inside, and they judge me for it. What I hate worse than being judged for my outward manliness is being fetishized for it.
    I come from a community that is very close-knit and kin-based, but I don't have a close-relationship with my extended family at all because I'd rather remain closeted to them.
    I also have had to remain closeted to maintain employment in various settings. I've given up on trying to "make it big" in the world, and am at the point where I really just want a 9 -5 job that pays me enough to live on my own. I could probably get that if I turn to blue-collar work, but I left blue-collar work because it is on average more homophobic than white-collar work. That's not really a judgment, just a fact. I've been there myself, and am from a working class family, but I think it is accurate to make that statement. My area is probably more gay friendly than most places, but I've still been pressured to stay closeted in jobs I had by people that suspected I was gay. I want to just move to NYC, or San Francisco, or somewhere that's supposedly gay-friendly, where I can find a nice job and be out, and have plenty of dating options available for me, but I still lack the money to move and the degree to land a decent job.
     
    #19 Chizu, Nov 24, 2019
    Last edited: Nov 24, 2019
  20. Devil Dave

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    My struggle is finding gay men who value other gay men as people, and not just as body parts that we stick in each other. I mean, finding someone to share yourself physically and sexually with is not difficult, but finding someone to have an emotional connection with? I've probably got a better chance of finding Bigfoot or being abducted by aliens.