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Does anyone else feel jealous of straight people?

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by Galaxy98, May 13, 2022 at 12:46 AM.

  1. Galaxy98

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    It seems like straight people don't usually have the am I this or am I that concern. They don't have to worry if they find someone insanely attractive that they're probably straight and not attracted to you.
    I feel like that is some of what keeps me from fully embracing my sexuality is because- it feels like it would be so much easier (society-wise) to be straight. *massive sigh*
     
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  2. Rayland

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    I think no matter what your orientation is, there is always this are they attracted to me worry. But I do get how you feel and know how hard it can be, if you fall for someone who is straight and you know, there is no chance. It does feel like it's easier to be straight, since there is no societal stigmas surrounding straight relationships.
     
  3. Contented

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    I think at the beginning of a gay sexual exploration it is easier to be straight. However as you become more comfortable with your homosexuality it becomes just as easy to be gay. It takes time for sure as you “swimming “ up stream of the societal norms and that takes time to get used to for sure. BTW being gay doesn’t make you automatically attractive to every other gay man. lol
     
    #3 Contented, May 13, 2022 at 7:27 AM
    Last edited: May 13, 2022 at 7:28 AM
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  4. GraceMiamor

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    Hun I feel the same way. But I also get jealous of seeing a couple together because it makes me wish I were straight
     
  5. BiGemini87

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    To be honest, I've never really thought about it in terms of jealousy, only longing. There have been plenty of times in my life, in a myriad of different ways, where I yearned to be like others with their seemingly normal personalities and wondered if there was something inherently wrong with me for not being able to match them.

    As I've gotten older, I've thought of it less, save for where social anxiety is concerned. I think you're right though; for the most part, straight people can take it for granted that they are what they are and no one is overly concerned with what that is or who they're with (unless they have some emotional stake in it, like seeing a sibling in an abusive relationship or some such). There are exceptions to every rule, of course. We see it with some of our OCD members who worry they aren't straight or are convinced as such, and heck knows we've seen a lot of the converse with bisexual and gay people deep in denial.

    I can sympathize with your feelings, though. Sometimes it's easy to celebrate our differences, and sometimes it isn't. Whatever your orientation might be, you'll get there. It takes time (some longer than others) to reach a place where you're at peace with yourself; where you know yourself well enough and become comfortable with all that comes with it. :slight_smile:
     
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  6. bambibat

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    I get where you’re coming from. I wish I never had to go through so much confusion when trying to figure out my orientation and hyper-analysing every little thing; straight people never have to deal with that. I also kind of envy how much easier it is for them to find partners, and the fact that they never have to “come out” and risk potential mistreatment or get made fun of. It’s been six years since I was forced to come out to my family and I still get vaguely homophobic jokes thrown at me.

    On the other hand though, there are a lot of things I don’t envy about them. When I see a straight couple on TV or in real life I certainly don’t wish it were me. I’ve also never desired children so me leaning strongly towards women doesn’t complicate that, at least. Plus straight women have their own struggles that wouldn’t apply to me, which I’m thankful for.
     
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  7. Nealg

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    I tried to be straight for years. It was a struggle I wish I had the courage to overcome. IMO, we should all try and be authentic and just let things flow naturally. I wish when I was younger I did that.
     
  8. Sadness

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    I wouldn't say straight people, but i'm kind jealous of people who know who they trully are, people that doesn't have ocd or doesn't question his sexuality
     
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  9. Sunchimes

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    I totally understand. It can be difficult in many ways. We go through some tough times.

    But looking at it another way, us non straight people have that air of mystery, and straight people don’t have half as much fun as we do. :wink:
     
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  10. TinyWerewolf

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    I would get so jealous of any straight couple on tv while I was dating my ex, while we were technically a straight couple we looked like a lesbian couple because I don't pass. We had to sneak around to be together and eventually got physically separated for seven months, and I'd get jealous of this fake couple because of how they could just meet up and hold each others hands or hug in public. I'd think to myself, "they're taking this for granted!"
     
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  11. zgaynz

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    Not at all. Long gone are the days where I wished and faked being straight. They were some of my most unhappy times because I knew it was a lie. I get jealous of gay couples and those who accepted their sexuality considerably earlier than I did. They risked everything to be true to themselves, whereas even today, I can only do so privately. Love is love regardless, which makes me jealous that many in society don't treat or see a gay couple in the same manner as they do straight. Perhaps if they did then I wouldn't be so hesitant in coming out and embracing my future.
     
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  12. Ipswichfan

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    Maybe when we’re in high school. But when I got to college I got thinking “What if she has a boyfriend…or is married?” I felt expected to know the social status of everyone, even if I were laying eyes on them for the first time.
     
  13. PatrickUK

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    Would I like it to be easier for LGBTQ people? Yes, without a doubt, but does that mean I am jealous of straight people? No, definitely not.

    I think there is a tendency for same sex attracted people and trans people to idealise the lives of straight, cis-gendered people, but I can say without question that the grass ain't greener on their side of the fence. Admittedly, they don't experience the judgement and prejudice of our community, but that doesn't mean they have it all nice and perfect. The lives of some straight, cis-gendered people is an absolute clusterfuck of chaos as they lurch from one failed relationship and personal crisis to another; never learning from their mistakes, never confronting deep seated issues, never investigating their pasts and never setting boundaries in the present. And why? Because society tells them they are okay and don't need to do any personal work. For LGBTQ people it's very different. We have to look ourselves in the mirror and do some heavy lifting in order to move forward and live our best life and that sets us apart from straight, cis people. So judgement and prejudice aside, we have nothing to be jealous of and we should give ourselves huge credit when we commit to the process of personal growth and come out of it better and stronger.
     
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  14. Mirko

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    While straight people don't go through the questioning and the process of coming to terms with their sexual orientation, there is no guarantee that the person they feel attracted to is going to feel the same way. Aside from the sexual orientation, other things have to be there as well.

    I understand your feelings and fears that this can and is producing for you but I'm not sure that worrying about it is necessary.

    Embracing your sexuality and spending time with others who are part of the LGBTQ+ community could potentially help you to address the fear, worries.

    Try to work on embracing your sexuality without worrying about will you be able to find someone or have your attraction, feelings for a person reciprocated. Yes, you might develop an attraction towards someone who is straight, but it might also happen with someone who says that they have the same attraction towards you.
     
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  15. masterofnone

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    i believe i’m straight. i suffer from ocd and i hyper analyse and question myself daily. but it is different. i would never say my struggles are anywhere near what some lgbt people have to go through.
     
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