Does anyone else feel jealous of straight people?

I think no matter what your orientation is, there is always this are they attracted to me worry. But I do get how you feel and know how hard it can be, if you fall for someone who is straight and you know, there is no chance. It does feel like it's easier to be straight, since there is no societal stigmas surrounding straight relationships.

 

To be honest, I've never really thought about it in terms of jealousy, only longing. There have been plenty of times in my life, in a myriad of different ways, where I yearned to be like others with their seemingly normal personalities and wondered if there was something inherently wrong with me for not being able to match them.

As I've gotten older, I've thought of it less, save for where social anxiety is concerned. I think you're right though; for the most part, straight people can take it for granted that they are what they are and no one is overly concerned with what that is or who they're with (unless they have some emotional stake in it, like seeing a sibling in an abusive relationship or some such). There are exceptions to every rule, of course. We see it with some of our OCD members who worry they aren't straight or are convinced as such, and heck knows we've seen a lot of the converse with bisexual and gay people deep in denial.

I can sympathize with your feelings, though. Sometimes it's easy to celebrate our differences, and sometimes it isn't. Whatever your orientation might be, you'll get there. It takes time (some longer than others) to reach a place where you're at peace with yourself; where you know yourself well enough and become comfortable with all that comes with it.

 

Would I like it to be easier for LGBTQ people? Yes, without a doubt, but does that mean I am jealous of straight people? No, definitely not.

I think there is a tendency for same sex attracted people and trans people to idealise the lives of straight, cis-gendered people, but I can say without question that the grass ain't greener on their side of the fence. Admittedly, they don't experience the judgement and prejudice of our community, but that doesn't mean they have it all nice and perfect. The lives of some straight, cis-gendered people is an absolute clusterfuck of chaos as they lurch from one failed relationship and personal crisis to another; never learning from their mistakes, never confronting deep seated issues, never investigating their pasts and never setting boundaries in the present. And why? Because society tells them they are okay and don't need to do any personal work. For LGBTQ people it's very different. We have to look ourselves in the mirror and do some heavy lifting in order to move forward and live our best life and that sets us apart from straight, cis people. So judgement and prejudice aside, we have nothing to be jealous of and we should give ourselves huge credit when we commit to the process of personal growth and come out of it better and stronger.

 

While straight people don't go through the questioning and the process of coming to terms with their sexual orientation, there is no guarantee that the person they feel attracted to is going to feel the same way. Aside from the sexual orientation, other things have to be there as well.

I understand your feelings and fears that this can and is producing for you but I'm not sure that worrying about it is necessary.

Embracing your sexuality and spending time with others who are part of the LGBTQ+ community could potentially help you to address the fear, worries.

Try to work on embracing your sexuality without worrying about will you be able to find someone or have your attraction, feelings for a person reciprocated. Yes, you might develop an attraction towards someone who is straight, but it might also happen with someone who says that they have the same attraction towards you.