I’m with my girlfriend, lesbian relationship, we been together going on 8years, she’s my first girlfriend.Sometimes I’m happy in my relationship, which is when things are going well but when things are bad then I remember why I don’t like this relationship but to afraid to leave. I don’t know what i should do, I’m afraid of judgement, criticism, everything literally. I’m to afraid to move on because I’m scared of my outcome but I’m been drinking almost every day wine. We are suppose to be moving to where her family is at. I hate my life sometimes I’m confused constantly and don’t know if I’m making the right movement and to top it off I’m in a gay relationship. I feel alone and like a ugly duckling. I’m scared of making friends. Do you go through this ?
All relationships go through cycles. There are good and bad times, this is natural. So long as the good and bad tend to balance out it is worth staying in and trying to work things out. If you are drinking to anesthetize yourself though that is a bad sign. I have depended on chemicals to stay in abusive situations because it was too scary to leave, from my own personal experience I can attest that this is not healthy. Are the bad times abusive or are they just the normal difficulties that all relationships have? Fear is not a good reason to stay in a relationship. Could you see a therapist and discuss what you are really afraid of? A good therapist can help us focus things in our lives. If you would also be getting support this could be ok or even a great thing but if this uproots you from everything familiar and puts you in a strange new situation with only your partner as your support you should probably think long and hard about it. This is not good. No one should have only one person as their support. Having friends outside of the relationship is very healthy, though I know it is difficult. I found friends though pursuing hobbies and through volunteering. Both are good to help round out a life.
Thanks for the advice, your advice actually helped me and no she’s not abusive, we just but heads often but I agree relationships has its ups and downs.
Hey it is difficult when you are worried about judgement etc. WOuld you say the good times are more common than the bad or the other way around? Is there something in particular that triggers the bad times, or is the butting of heads always about the same things? I am sensing that you dont want to move would you say that is true. WOuld you like to make friends?
Hi, I’m sorry that you’re feeling this way. I can relate to parts of your post - I was really worried about leaving my partner (now ex) too. When you said the above...could you expand on what that means? Are your afraid of this from your girlfriend or more generally?
We spoke. We are good now, communication is big and we realized we both have been lacking. We would argue over small things and since I’m sensitive, it would really upset me but we talked it out. I also spoke to her about moving. Change can be good. I’ll join lgbt groups and meet friends. Thanks everyone
That is great news. I'm glad you managed to talk it out, its easy to be sensitive and then see little things that you otherwise wouldn't notice.
