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Do you feel your "mental maturity" is effected by having your innate sexuality suppressed?

Discussion in 'LGBT Later in Life' started by brainwashed, Dec 26, 2020.

  1. Destin

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    I permanently feel 16. Quite possibly because I look younger than I am and people often actually think I'm 16-19 most of the time. I'm almost 25 now and definitely do not at all feel like a real adult. Being equally close to 30 as I am to 20 is freakin scary man...
     
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  2. brainwashed

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    I believe this is the driver, one of possibly many drivers, behind mental maturity development. God I wish I had the time to research this subject more.

    Ah yes consciously and subconsciously suppressing ones inner being.

    This would be interesting to research as well.

    Does this mean you knew you were gay?
     
  3. brainwashed

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    Wait until you are in your 40s & 50s and you still feel like a teen. Talk about a WTF feeling.
     
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  4. Tightrope

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    Men who don't have children or are single seem to have more of that big teenager streak. I don't know many married men or ones with kids who have that streak. Those who do or did had a good dose of Peter Pan syndrome and got out of their marriages.

    I still say to myself that I can't picture them as parents. They are more like friends to their children than they are parents. Not necessarily a bad thing.

    It kind of explains why some married guys with kids go in another direction and distance themselves from their childless and single friends.
     
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  5. RD Spencer

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    I caught onto the red flags in my early teens and to some degree started to go through the stages of acceptance then I think I must have just shut it down on an emotional level while still logically being aware of my gay tendencies.


    Between my sexuality and chaotic dysfunctional family has caused me to bury my emotions as a coping mechanism.
     
  6. brainwashed

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    An interesting statement. So true in many cases for sperm donors.
     
  7. brainwashed

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    In what way, shape or form?

    This is a conscious decision. Interesting. Why am I so interested in this one line? Because I did the same thing but subconsciously. So I'm wondering if there are any parallels.

    Yup. Burying emotions is a survival mechanism(s). Isn't a dysfunctional family fun? Mine was a train wreck. Seemed normal but was actually not.
     
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  8. RD Spencer

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    Could be.

    Something that I have noticed about people who have grown up in such a dysfunctional family as my own is different ways of coping. It seems like many of my siblings have dealt with it by blocking out memories while I seem to mostly block out feelings. I seem to remember a lot of stressful things that have happened but I can choose not to feel the emotional aspect of it.

    Many of my family members act like they can’t remember much of the past.


    I remember a lot of what was going through my head and how I felt when dealing with my sexuality as a teenager. I was very emotionally upset in the beginning but then it seems like the emotions faded down. Lately while trying to understand myself better I have brought up some of those feelings.



    Up until I moved out I had no idea how bad things were. My parents would say we had the best family. Over the years since then I have learned a lot about what a functional family should be like. I look back in shock at the crazy things that when on and were passed off as normal. This explains why I felt like I was having a nervous breakdown throughout my childhood then started suppressing my emotions to deal with it.
     
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  9. BMC77

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    I'm not sure about my mental maturity being impacted. Although who knows?

    I do remember when I was a teenager being considered mature for my age--one teacher cracked something like I was 16 going on 47. I'm now wondering if one reason for being 16 going on 47 wasn't caused by repressing sexuality. But who knows?

    One thing that I've been thinking of recently is the toll of those years of denial leaves in one regard. Maybe not with maturity as such, but I certainly don't have the knowledge and experience most people have at my age when it comes to sex, sexuality, and relationships. Frankly, the thought of dating or sex does--at times--leave me feeling overwhelmed, just because I feel so far behind "normal."
     
  10. BMC77

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    I hadn't thought of that. And I can't confirm this, but it does sound reasonable.

    For me, I had family problems to deal with when I was in my 20s. Which included some people who had serious health issues. I've wondered if that didn't help age me even more than what that teacher perceived when I was a teenager. I remember after it was over coming into contact with some college aged students. They weren't a whole lot younger than I was by chronological age. But it felt like there was a huge gap. Maybe part of that was normal from the age gap. But, as I said, I've thought that the experiences I went through also possibly had a huge impact.
     
    #30 BMC77, Jan 29, 2021
    Last edited: Jan 29, 2021
  11. brainwashed

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    Lol, I got two for the price of one, blocked memories and feelings. Hoot, hoot! Fun stuff isn't it?
     
    #31 brainwashed, Jan 29, 2021
    Last edited: Jan 29, 2021
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