1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

Do you feel your "mental maturity" is effected by having your innate sexuality suppressed?

Discussion in 'LGBT Later in Life' started by brainwashed, Dec 26, 2020.

  1. Destin

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Mar 14, 2018
    Messages:
    2,055
    Likes Received:
    715
    Location:
    The United States
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    I permanently feel 16. Quite possibly because I look younger than I am and people often actually think I'm 16-19 most of the time. I'm almost 25 now and definitely do not at all feel like a real adult. Being equally close to 30 as I am to 20 is freakin scary man...
     
    Tightrope likes this.
  2. brainwashed

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Dec 29, 2014
    Messages:
    2,141
    Likes Received:
    494
    Location:
    Phoenix, AZ
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    I believe this is the driver, one of possibly many drivers, behind mental maturity development. God I wish I had the time to research this subject more.

    Ah yes consciously and subconsciously suppressing ones inner being.

    This would be interesting to research as well.

    Does this mean you knew you were gay?
     
  3. brainwashed

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Dec 29, 2014
    Messages:
    2,141
    Likes Received:
    494
    Location:
    Phoenix, AZ
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Wait until you are in your 40s & 50s and you still feel like a teen. Talk about a WTF feeling.
     
    Destin and Tightrope like this.
  4. Tightrope

    Full Member

    Joined:
    May 31, 2013
    Messages:
    5,415
    Likes Received:
    387
    Location:
    USA
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Some people
    Men who don't have children or are single seem to have more of that big teenager streak. I don't know many married men or ones with kids who have that streak. Those who do or did had a good dose of Peter Pan syndrome and got out of their marriages.

    I still say to myself that I can't picture them as parents. They are more like friends to their children than they are parents. Not necessarily a bad thing.

    It kind of explains why some married guys with kids go in another direction and distance themselves from their childless and single friends.
     
    RD Spencer likes this.
  5. RD Spencer

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Jul 17, 2020
    Messages:
    189
    Likes Received:
    85
    Location:
    Western Wa
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Other
    Out Status:
    A few people

    I caught onto the red flags in my early teens and to some degree started to go through the stages of acceptance then I think I must have just shut it down on an emotional level while still logically being aware of my gay tendencies.


    Between my sexuality and chaotic dysfunctional family has caused me to bury my emotions as a coping mechanism.
     
  6. brainwashed

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Dec 29, 2014
    Messages:
    2,141
    Likes Received:
    494
    Location:
    Phoenix, AZ
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    An interesting statement. So true in many cases for sperm donors.
     
  7. brainwashed

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Dec 29, 2014
    Messages:
    2,141
    Likes Received:
    494
    Location:
    Phoenix, AZ
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    In what way, shape or form?

    This is a conscious decision. Interesting. Why am I so interested in this one line? Because I did the same thing but subconsciously. So I'm wondering if there are any parallels.

    Yup. Burying emotions is a survival mechanism(s). Isn't a dysfunctional family fun? Mine was a train wreck. Seemed normal but was actually not.
     
    RD Spencer likes this.
  8. RD Spencer

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Jul 17, 2020
    Messages:
    189
    Likes Received:
    85
    Location:
    Western Wa
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Other
    Out Status:
    A few people

    Could be.

    Something that I have noticed about people who have grown up in such a dysfunctional family as my own is different ways of coping. It seems like many of my siblings have dealt with it by blocking out memories while I seem to mostly block out feelings. I seem to remember a lot of stressful things that have happened but I can choose not to feel the emotional aspect of it.

    Many of my family members act like they can’t remember much of the past.


    I remember a lot of what was going through my head and how I felt when dealing with my sexuality as a teenager. I was very emotionally upset in the beginning but then it seems like the emotions faded down. Lately while trying to understand myself better I have brought up some of those feelings.



    Up until I moved out I had no idea how bad things were. My parents would say we had the best family. Over the years since then I have learned a lot about what a functional family should be like. I look back in shock at the crazy things that when on and were passed off as normal. This explains why I felt like I was having a nervous breakdown throughout my childhood then started suppressing my emotions to deal with it.
     
    out2019 likes this.
  9. BMC77

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Feb 27, 2013
    Messages:
    3,267
    Likes Received:
    107
    Location:
    USA
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    A few people
    I'm not sure about my mental maturity being impacted. Although who knows?

    I do remember when I was a teenager being considered mature for my age--one teacher cracked something like I was 16 going on 47. I'm now wondering if one reason for being 16 going on 47 wasn't caused by repressing sexuality. But who knows?

    One thing that I've been thinking of recently is the toll of those years of denial leaves in one regard. Maybe not with maturity as such, but I certainly don't have the knowledge and experience most people have at my age when it comes to sex, sexuality, and relationships. Frankly, the thought of dating or sex does--at times--leave me feeling overwhelmed, just because I feel so far behind "normal."
     
  10. BMC77

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Feb 27, 2013
    Messages:
    3,267
    Likes Received:
    107
    Location:
    USA
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    A few people
    I hadn't thought of that. And I can't confirm this, but it does sound reasonable.

    For me, I had family problems to deal with when I was in my 20s. Which included some people who had serious health issues. I've wondered if that didn't help age me even more than what that teacher perceived when I was a teenager. I remember after it was over coming into contact with some college aged students. They weren't a whole lot younger than I was by chronological age. But it felt like there was a huge gap. Maybe part of that was normal from the age gap. But, as I said, I've thought that the experiences I went through also possibly had a huge impact.
     
    #30 BMC77, Jan 29, 2021
    Last edited: Jan 29, 2021
  11. brainwashed

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Dec 29, 2014
    Messages:
    2,141
    Likes Received:
    494
    Location:
    Phoenix, AZ
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Lol, I got two for the price of one, blocked memories and feelings. Hoot, hoot! Fun stuff isn't it?
     
    #31 brainwashed, Jan 29, 2021
    Last edited: Jan 29, 2021
    RD Spencer likes this.