Do you ever wish that you could just start again?

I've pretty much done it three times--went off to college and became a different person in a different city, spent a year backpacking through India (sometimes it felt like I was a different person from week to week, especially since the longest I ever travelled with anyone was for a few weeks), then I moved to yet another city and found a new life in grad school (as a gay man). I definitely recommend starting over from time to time...

 

Every. Fucking. Day. I would give literally anything to either go back to 1995 and start my life all over again or be reincarnated after I die so I can try again.

 

How do people do stuff like this? It always sounds fun and adventurous but it seems kind of impossible to just randomly leave the country for an entire year to do that and then come back like nothing happened and with no consequences from it. Unless the person just wastes a ton of money continuing to pay their rent while they're gone, they'd pretty much be homeless and unemployed with a year of not having a job attached to their resume when they get back. That doesn't seem like a good situation to be in.

 

I think you can easily start again, and that in fact if you aren't happy that you should.

I live in a new country every year or so, and therefore I am continiously building and un-building my life, doing new things, seeing new things, learning new things, meeting new people and while I am in my early 20's I very much feel like I have already lived a 100 lives, I love to see where a new place takes me and how my new life there shapes me, and so I don't feel the need or wish to start again as I am continiously doing though while still having my past mistakes to guide me. I feel so grateful to have been able to experience this but I feel everyone can start anew through different methods and that one don't need to travel back to the past to become a new version of themselves and have a new version of their life.

 

I have spent the last 7 years abroad, country hopping and settling in different places and it's actually much easier than it seems. Most people just quit their job (or if they have an understanding company take leave) and leave their appartment work abroad while traveling and when they come back take a new lease and find a new job. I have had zero problem finding a job or a flat, if anything me speaking several languages and having worked in so many places is an advantage for recruiters.

 

I should've dropped out from high school and get GED instead. I was so miserable there, and I hated their fucked up grading system. It was based on how you do well in comparison to others, not how well you underatand the material.

Now I'm in a better place. Far from perfect, but still.

 

everyday, i wish i was a different person. far from what i am now. if there was only a switch i could press to restart everything, i would.

 

Yes. Totally. If I could turn back time and go back to when I was 16, I would take a different path and hopefully become a different person. But then I would probably not have all the great friends I have and the experiences I went through. So, I don't regret whatever I've been through.

 

I think a good place to start, is changing something about your appearance, and gradually move up from there. In 2016, I felt like I needed change too. So in November of that year, I decided to cut my hair shorter (it used to be a few cm below my shoulders, and the cut I chose was level with the bottom of my ears), and dye it purple. I've since changed it again, and now wear it very short, and no longer colour it. I went from purple to a deep red, but only kept it that way for a few months, before letting it grow out and just keeping my hair natural.

I don't look back for one second, and I now finally feel like, "Hey, I got this, I'm free to express myself in ways I never would've thought of prior to these small changes..."

And the best thing about hair, or even changing the way you dress yourself is, it's temporary. Hair grows back, and you could always change your dress style to where it used to be, and even then it'll feel like you've changed something, even though you've just gone back to how it was before. You know what they say: Change is as good as a holiday. It's very true and by starting with something simple, you will soon feel more accomplished and more "alive" in a way.

You could also start a new hobby to occupy your mind and time, and keeping busy with something you enjoy, will also make the world of a difference. Please let us know what you've decided, and good luck with re-inventing yourself

 

I have sorta started again....
Moved out from house I shared with ex wife.
Have my own apartment.
Changing all my clothes, gradually.
Met a couple guys.
Last week changed my hair.

I've come along way, if I had bigger balls, my dream is to go and live in Spain or Cyprus. Far away from the UK. It's my children that keep me here in the UK.

 

Yes. And I did that, I moved, changed style, hair, whatever

 

I had a travel fellowship (so that took care of the money), I put my stuff in storage at my parents while I was gone (I would have been moving anyway) and when I got back I put it on my resume (it's certainly more interesting than any job I would have had for the year).

 

Even the smallest changes can make a difference. And I think the videos are a great idea! Have fun, and I think it's a nice way towards self acceptance and gives you something to do to occupy your mind. Well done!

 

I would love to go back in time and come out much, much earlier (still havent managed it yet).
But if you really want change, you should think about something you really want to do and just do it. Do you have a thing you've always wanted to do? Maybe work towards that. For me it would be backpacking across europe

 

Me too! :-(

 

Oh, yes. I wish I could make huge changes in my life regularly. At the most extreme (and unrealistic), I wouldn't mind having a time machine so I could go back and "fix" earlier parts of my life. More realistic (but unlikely for me), I sometimes think I'd like to move someplace new.

But...it's just too easy to stay stuck, particularly given my circumstances.

Years back, I read of someone who apparently made it a point of moving to a new place every 5 years or so in order to do a restart of sorts. The reasoning in that case was, I think, moving encouraged continual change, since the people in day-to-day life didn't have memories/expectations of what that person should do or be like, based on memories from years and years before.

On the other hand, though, I remember this topic getting touched on in some college class. I can't remember the whole conversation (this was nearly 30 years ago), but I do remember one student (a woman older than the rest of us--I'm thinking she was probably at least in her 40s) talking about how we fantasize about just vanishing to a new, different place to get a fresh start. But, she opined, we might well find ourselves living the same life, since we'd still be the same person.