Do you ever really move on from your first love?

This is something difficult. My first real love left our school and like we kind of said that we would date if it weren't for his parents being very verbal an homophobic. After he left my school I kind of moved on, but at some point I blurted out that I was dating somebody at that time, and he mentioned that he thought we were promised to each other. That sent me back and I kind of didn't know how to feel. At that point I thought I was over him, but it was just a sudden rush of emotions that made me kind of think of what might've happened if things didn't end like they did.

I am now over him though, a lot happened and I realized he kind of also manipulated me in a way. My situation is way different than yours, but I do believe that you can get over somebody if you're under the right circumstances.

My relationship at that time didn't end because of him though, he didn't play a role in that at all, so I don't know how to give advice on your current situation because I have never experienced it myself. All I can do is wish you the best of luck in figuring this out, or that another person comes around to give some more advice because this is a rather sticky situation.

 

Hello Lex Luthor!

To second what TemptingPotato said, this really is somewhat difficult.
I believe it depends on the circumstances and how things ended.

If you consider this person to be your first love, then clearly there was a strong connection between the two of you.

Your post struck a chord with me because my first ex-boyfriend and "first love" is also in a similar boat. He's not out yet though, he still serving time in prison and won't be getting out for quite some time. 2024 I think.

In my case, things didn't end well. It's been 9 years since I last saw him. And I can honestly say, I'm still not over him completely. I won't say I think about him everyday, because I don't, but there's a small part of me that every now and then, remembers.

We learn from our experiences and our first loves are where we have our first connections, make our first mistakes, go through our first heartbreaks. That's an experience that you only get (the first time) for once in your life. For us as queer people, that experience is magnified even stronger because of the challenges we already face being gay.

I've dated two other guys since then (even got a place together with the second guy at one point), but even during my relationships, when a quiet day came and I was left to my thoughts, I still thought of my first boyfriend. After all this time, I don't think I'll ever be able to shake those feelings that come when I revisit my memories. I've seen similar things with other people. You "move on" but that experience will always stay with you. I totally get the feeling you got when you saw him again.

I don't believe you ever really move on from your first love. Some people are lucky and they stay with that person, others don't have a choice and have to move on, even if their heart doesn't feel that way.

In my case, I don't ever see that happening. When I take the "first love" glasses off, I Ultimately I know that me and him are not good together. I saw a quote some time ago (I forgot where I saw it), that said: "You gotta make new memories or the old ones are going to kill you.”

That has helped me move on a bit in at least living my life in the best way that I can. I have some anxiety/depression problems, and the early years "moving on" for me were really tough. But that's just my story.

For you, I believe you should make the decision that's best for you.

Is his heart in the right place too if you get back together? Do you see yourself truly being happy in the future with this person? You know him firsthand and were with him for 3 years so you're the best person who can make that call. In reading what you posted, it looks like things were going well up to the point where he ended up in prison.

Whatever you decide to do, I wish you both the best of luck. I hate sounding redundant but you really only have one life. Live it the best way you can!