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Do you enjoy intimacy?

Discussion in 'LGBT Later in Life' started by tulman, Mar 28, 2013.

  1. greatwhale

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    Have fun, Pete!

    So true about that emotional connection, something I have never had with my wife.

    Went out myself this evening on a first date with a sweet soft-spoken guy, this was just a preliminary get together...we'll see where it goes, despite all the other drama in my life right now...:icon_bigg

    Cheers!
     
  2. Xochipilli

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    Cuddles forever!
    I've never cuddled a dude, or anyone for that matter, but I crave it! :grin:
    Sucks that the guy got scared off though, it sounded sweet!
     
  3. Mrcake

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    Somethingmore..I love you profile pic and your signature --- CHEESE FTW! I too have never done anything intimate with a guy -- this for me is a little bit odd, but will come with time and confidence. I want to cuddle and do more than that (!) but right now that isn't really possible.
     
  4. Xochipilli

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    Thanks! :grin: I love cake! Good stuff!
    Oh, I definitely want to do a lot more than cuddling as well. :grin:
    But I guess we must be patient for now. :dry:
     
  5. myheartincheck

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    I absolutely LOVE it!

    I'm a HUGE cuddler. So much so that I don't think I could have a relationship with someone who wasn't... it's so important to me... but I may be able to have a relationship without sex. Intimacy is much more important to me than sex.

    I hate that my answer is so... girly... but I'm just a touchy-feely person by nature. :slight_smile:
     
  6. Wolfie Charm

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    That's how I feel on the subject. It's a surprise for people because I have a big personal space bubble lol.
     
  7. myheartincheck

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    LoL! Well the right person can shrink that bubble! :icon_bigg
     
  8. Wolfie Charm

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    Exactly. I have one friend who could get away with charging me for a hug without me seeing an approach. She'd never do it though.
     
  9. Lighthouse

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    I have been thru two 10+ year marriages with men and in neither did I have real intimacy. It wasn't until about 10 months ago that I became intimately, romantically involved with the love of my life that I realized what I had been missing. Sex is great but to be able to cuddle up with her each night and wake up and cuddle with her each morning is amazing!!! And cuddling right after sex...the best!!!
     
  10. QueerQueen

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    I completely agree, I don't think I could be with someone who doesn't like cuddling. I can't say that I would be able to have a sexless relationship, but if a girl I'm with doesn't want to cuddle and be intimate in more ways than just sex, I don't think I would have sex with her in the first place. I love all those little things just as much as sex, probably even more.
     
  11. MixedNutz

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    Intimacy was very important to me while dating. Growing up completely in the closet made me year for male on male contact. Kissing, cuddling, just general poking and touching. If someone was not into that it wasn't going to work out.

    Sex absolutely has to be raw/passionate. But in my mind, the feeling of spooning and laying next to my partner while falling asleep every night doesn't compare.
     
  12. LailaForbidden

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    Sign me up! Just reading these comments makes me filled with longing... I am a total hopeless romantic, so the cuddling/kissing/physical contact stuff goes along with that.

    One day... :slight_smile:
     
  13. mommy tears

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    This! I was exactly the same way. I was never able to really show affection to my ex husband. This is a big part of why I felt it was important to go our separate ways. I want our son to grow up seeing what love and affection look like.
     
  14. mojoe

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    In my eyes, emotional closeness and physical intimacy are prerequisites for anything sexual. I've only had one relationship of any kind in my life and i just couldn't develop a real emotional connection with him. He was the only person I've ever had any real sexual contact with and I just didn't enjoy it as much as I know I should have. I enjoyed our non-sexual contact and intimacy more, but even that wasn't nearly as amazing as I know it should have been. Without that emotional connection, anything physical is really nothing special.

    To be honest, I find the idea of cuddling and whatnot, much more appealing than sex as a whole. Obviously I've never had any interest in hookups. Funny story, there's actually one person I've turned down on several occasions. What's funny is that, at one point, I was somewhat interested in him as a person and made quite the effort to get to know him, become his friend, and possibly give the whole dating thing a shot. He wasn't all that interested at the time, and I eventually got bored and lost interest. We never got to be good friends, he just remained a friend of a friend. All the while, and still to this day, I think he is very attractive. (very rare for me to think anyone is attractive without an emotional connection with them). Men and women alike will quite often pine over how hot he is. Well a few months after my attempts I start getting texts from him about hooking up. To this day I will once in awhile, get a random text from him. I did, and still do, have absolutely zero interest in any of it.

    So that's my story explaining how important emotional and physical intimacy is to me. For the longest time i thought I was alone in feeling like this. This thread has assured me that im not alone in feeling like I do.