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Do I need to tell my roommate I like the ladies?

Discussion in 'LGBT Later in Life' started by Soundofmusic, Mar 15, 2018.

  1. Soundofmusic

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    So NYC is expensive, which means I have to get a roommate. She's from my hometown but we're merely acquaintances.

    Do I need to disclaim that I'm into women? I can't imagine we'll hang out much, as she's younger, but HOPEFULLY I'll be bringing someone home at some point.
     
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  2. fvpa01

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    We don’t owe anybody anything regarding our sexuality, especially an explanation or warning of sorts. Even so, I can understand your feelings about wanting to tell her... makes sense.

    You don’t need to tell her anything if you don’t want to, but it may make it easier in the future when you bring a lady home if she knows in advance. There wouldn’t be as much awkwardness that way I’d think.

    Big one by telling her though is that if you do it with the plan of “keep it our secret / not a lot of people know”... there’s a good chance people may find out regardless. A secret is often times not kept a secret if it’s juicy enough. Many times even with people you love and really respect, secrets will be told in a lapse in judgement. That said, if you don’t want anyone the two of you know together now, or will know together in the future in NYC, or have some of the same people in common back home... just realize some of them may find out. And make sure you’re okay with that before you’re faced with it.
     
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  3. Soundofmusic

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    Oh, I'm not closeted AT ALL. It's not an issue about anyone else finding out, but rather that she doesn't know, because we're only acquaintances, and idk if she'd be ok with it?
     
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  4. smurf

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    Hell yeah tell her. Its way better to find out now than when she does have a problem and you are already move in.
     
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  5. fvpa01

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    Well said!
     
  6. Soundofmusic

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    welp, I sent her a nice lil text. hopefully she wont care. I'm a roommate with baggage. I have a dog & I'm gay LOL
     
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  7. silverhalo

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    Hey I can see I am a bit late to the party but I would have said tell her, it doesn't have to be a big thing but I agree that it's better you find out now if she is going to have an issue with it than later down the line or when you bring a lady home.
     
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  8. Rana

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    I agree with @silverhalo on this...it's better to know now is she will have a problem with your sexual orientation.
    Normally I would say you should not feel like you have to disclose anything personal about yourself, but roommate situations are different.
     
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  9. Soundofmusic

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    She reacted well! all good! Moving next week. AHHHH

    and I already have a date LOL
     
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  10. silverhalo

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    Woohoo make sure you keep us updated.
     
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  11. SevnButton

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    It makes me happy to hear that. Good on ya, Soundofmusic! :slight_smile:
     
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  12. signmypapyrus

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    Yay!! So exciting! Keep us updated
     
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  13. Rana

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    Awesome! Look how incredible everything turned out!! ❤️
     
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  14. idsm

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  15. silverhalo

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    I imagine she is having too much fun. Haha
     
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  16. SevnButton

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    I hope so! And I so much hope things are going well for her.
    @idsm, that scowling kitty intimidates me! :slight_smile:
     
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  17. idsm

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    @silverhalo I bet she does! But come on! Don't we get to help her choose her outfit for the date? We did that with @mellie! Do you guys remember Mellie? I wonder how she's been doing...

    @SevnButton They didn't have a guinea pig... :yum:
     
  18. silverhalo

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    Yeah agreed it's not fair, we need details..........
     
  19. Soundofmusic

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    OMG YOU GUYS

    Moving has been such a whirlwind and I havent had time at all for anything because ive been working so much. Today is my 1st month anniversary.

    Ive mostly been working, hitting up the theater and seeing some old friends here and there.

    I went to a party and talked to a lesbian but she had a gf and i was so drunk lol so i walked away.

    Beyond that i dont really know how to approach lgbt life here. Its all around me but its also out of reach, if that makes sense.

    Ive been trying out dating apps but ive also been feeling really insecure physically in the last month. Its been a lot of changes at once and all the insecurities ive squashed over the years have surfaced again. Dealing with that now but its easier said than done.

    Dont get me wrong, im so happy. I absolutely love my job, the city and my apartment. Its everything I wanted and more.
     
  20. silverhalo

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    Hey soundofmusic so good to hear from you, although as long as you are good and happy then I'm ok not hearing from you.

    So do you want to talk about the insecurities? I think you just need to find the find doorway to enter the LGBT scene, I don't think it's out of reach you just need to figure out the right way for you.
     
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