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Do "ex-" people bother you?

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by Libertino, Mar 26, 2016.

  1. Libertino

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    There seems to be something especially enraging about "ex-X" people, I.e. ex-Muslims, ex-atheists, ex-gays. Sometimes these ex- people are prevented from even having a voice and are accused of bigotry. Perhaps it's the idea that someone rejected something that is a part of us and decided that rejection improved their life and now go on to spread the word and hope others will come to reject it too.

    Are you an "ex-" anything? If not, do "ex-" people rub you the wrong way?
     
    #1 Libertino, Mar 26, 2016
    Last edited: Mar 26, 2016
  2. AtheistWorld

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  3. Loveislife

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    Ex-gays? Yes. Ex-(insert something else here)? Can't think of another ex-something that bothers me.

    The thing that bothers me about ex-gays is that these people usually claim that anti-gay conversion therapy was successful for them and that they are now heterosexual or have gotten rid of their same sex attractions. This bothers me because I don't think this is possible, and their stories might influence vulnerable individuals to start the same therapy themselves which can be extremely dangerous for their well being. Furthermore, these stories might influence the way that people think about homosexuality in a LGBT person's environment in a negative way. They might begin to see it as something changeable or the ex-gay stories might confirm their suspicions that you can 'pray the gay away' or whatever they previously thought. Thus, I believe ex-gay stories can also be harmful to a LGBT person because they might increase the chance that their environment will start to believe they can change and the chance that they will impose this harmful belief upon them. Also, a LGBT person might become more likely to feel guilty and ashamed about not being able to change themselves because of these stories.. because they might feel that they didn't try hard enough. God... I really hate the people who say that conversion therapy works.
     
    #3 Loveislife, Mar 26, 2016
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  4. Soundwave

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    I feel those type of people are in dental.
     
  5. Kira

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    I suppose I'm an "ex-Christian" since I was raised to believe it, yet grew out of it? The whole "ex-gay" thing still rubs me the wrong way though, when people hear that kind of stuff they think they can force me straight.
     
  6. Loveislife

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    Probably. Whatever the reason, I just think it is so wrong. Maybe there are people out there whose orientation changes during their lifetime but I don't think that it is something you have any control over as these 'ex-gays' make it out to be.
     
  7. Libertino

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    I admit that I also have a more visceral negative reaction to "ex-gay" that I don't have for the others. For one, the others describe a rejection of a certain belief or set of beliefs--"ex-gay" describes a rejection of a sexuality, which is on a different level than a conversion of beliefs. My reaction to hearing someone claim to be "ex-gay" is often along the lines of "you're fooling yourself, it's bullshit, etc."

    Any of these ex-X groups has the potential to be "annoying" in that they can't help but get the word out that their "new life" is so improved after rejecting X, and they tend to come off as proselytizing, aiming to win other "converts" (which is understandable--if something has improved your life, wouldn't you want others to experience it too?)

    The problem with "ex-gay", however, is that, as others have said, it can have a negative effect on those who are homosexual and can possibly help promote ineffective or even harmful forms of "ex-gay" therapy. Ultimately I do believe people have the freedom to choose their own path in life: if someone wants to be rid of their homosexuality and they claim to have done it and improved their life by doing so, then so be it. It isn't my position to tell them they're kidding themselves or that they shouldn't do it. If, however, they are trying to get young people to do it or be forced to do it, then obviously I am going to take issue with that.
     
    #7 Libertino, Mar 26, 2016
    Last edited: Mar 26, 2016
  8. sunshine360

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    Honestly, the whole "ex-gay" thing really rubs me the wrong way. I do not judge those who are part of that movement, but I do not agree or support it. It promotes the silly notion that sexuality can be forcefully changed through "therapy", which has no real basis. Basically, it is denying who you are. Conversion therapy should be allowed only for consenting adults if they choose to go, but it should be considered child abuse for parents to provide this sort of "therapy" to their kids. If an adult wants to go through with it, then so be it, but I don't have to agree or support it.
     
    #8 sunshine360, Mar 26, 2016
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  9. Tritri

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    It only bothers me if it's something that's impossible, like ex-gay or ex-black. If it has to do with beliefs, like ex-atheist, ex-Christian, ex-muslim, ex-feminist, etc., I'm okay because it shows that you once had some beliefs but changed it through evidence.
     
  10. gravechild

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    It tells me that they haven't completely cut ties with their former label, group, definition. Their worth is so invested in something, and they have to let everyone know. I wouldn't have an issue if they didn't use it to obnoxiously bash whichever group they've supposedly left, and joined bigots in denying, say, gay people rights. I've seen radical Christians become radical atheists, but a healthy person can find a balance between two opposing view points, and respect differences.
     
  11. 1412

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    I'm ex-mormon and ex-republican. Obviously ex-gay people bother me to a degree but I find it more comical than anything else, but if saying that they aren't gay anymore makes them happy then what ever I guess.
     
  12. springroll

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    Meh. Ex-*inserts a belief here* doesn't bother me. Things like ex-gay just make me sad. I'm not going to rule the possibility that ex-gays stories are just a hoax.
     
  13. Kaboom

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    Well the true meaning of ''ex'' anything means excluding. It means to negate.
    So... it means nothing.

    So to say no, that would mean nothing bothers me.
    Something always bothers me.

    I don't think I know how to answer your question lol
     
  14. ForNarnia

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    Ex-lgbt people bother me slightly. You can't just 'turn straight'. There's a difference between thinking you were lgbt and then realising that was not the case, and saying that you were gay but then went straight.

    Otherwise, it doesn't bother me.
     
  15. LostLion

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    The only thing I am ex-anything of is being an ex-homophobe.
     
  16. SHACH

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    I mean, ex-gay people bother me because I sometimes feel like I could really convince myself I was gay and be completely wrong... And also because yeah I feel a bit sickened by some of the stories about their anti homosexuality therapy working. But the ones that personally bother me personally are those that just randomly came to the decision that they weren't...

    ex-muslims, ex-Christians, ex-atheists... are just expressing a change in beliefs. You're not tied to a religion for life. People convert all the time. Unless you're a religious fanatic I'm sure you can understand this.
     
  17. Jellal

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    Nobody "ex" bothers me particularly.

    I think there is always something to be gained from another's perspective, even if it's nothing more than an opportunity to critique that perspective for its flaws.

    The world gains nothing by silencing someone's opinion. It does nothing for your "cause."
     
  18. Michael

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    That's it. There is then no such a thing as -ex LGBT: You are either in (voluntary) denial, or you never were.

    Folks who left their religion also are not -ex muslims. They are just atheist or agnostics who left their parent's religion.

    About ex-black............... I have no idea what that means.


    Nothing bothers me : It's up to them how to live their lives, call themselves whatever they want.
     
  19. HerrinDesFeuers

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    Maybe Michael Jackson?
     
  20. CluelessOne

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    People are gonna be people and that both amuses and terrifies me. I make an effort to not have an outward bias as much as I can but no, they don't bother me.