Your friend isn't speaking of the widely-used definition; she's talking about the one that a small bunch of people made up and have been very vocal about. That one is so broad it's essentially meaningless. Saying "asexuality is a spectrum" would be like saying "heterosexuality is a spectrum". Here's an example: When someone has the flu, biologically, they have no sex drive, because the body basically shuts that down so it can focus on healing. But nobody with any common sense would say that this person is "asexual" for the time they have the flu. The majority of asexuality (as the small-but-loud group defines it) is behavioral/environmental rather than hardwired. *All* of the asexuality as it is widely recognized is hardwired in the same way homo and hetero and bisexuality is. Please, when we're talking about this important information, let's rely on factual information, not hearsay from some random person.