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Do asexuals masturbate?

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by mlansing, Mar 7, 2018.

  1. mlansing

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    This question is not meant to be offensive by any means, but I am simply curious if people who identify as asexual masturbate, and if they do, what do they think about or is it just the physical pleasure that is stimulating to them?

    I stopped masturbating for close to a year and I had wet dreams about 4 times during that time period, which was my body's natural response to the cessation of masturbation. I once read an article regarding how often the male body needs to ejaculate, and the doctor was quoted in the article as saying that if you stop masturbating and observe how often you have a wet dream, that will tell you how often your body needs to ejaculate.

    So as a follow-up question, do male asexuals have wet dreams? I appreciate anyone who can give me insight on this topic, and I hope I am not being offensive in asking it.
     
  2. Chip

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    Wet dreams are a biological function that will happen to most any male who doesn't masturbate. It has absolutely no correlation with sexual orientation.

    Asexuality (if we are using the widely accepted definition) is a complete lack of interest in sexual experience. Masturbation is in part a physical activity as well as a sexual one, so someone asexual who masturbates is not going to have the sexual fantasy part of the experience.
     
  3. RavenTheRat

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    I don’t think wet dreams really play into sexuality (or lack thereof) because they’re involuntary. I know that generally people say asexuals who masturbate are still asexual; masturbation is also a form of stress relief and do on and not just a sexual action like chip says.
     
  4. JaimeGaye

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    Not intentionally trying or attempting to come across as offensive to anyone else, I'm just saying that I am not convinced there are any actual human asexuals, even those that self mutilate in an attempt to purge their sexual urges.
    IN MY OPINION every asexual is simply in a state of very deep denial of their true self.
     
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  5. DarkWhite

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    I'll stop you right here. I can understand your way of thinking and I don't identify as asexual. But you are wrong. Not every asexual is "merely" not interested in sexual activities. Some find them literally disgusting.

    For example - I can't stand kissing. When someone kisses me I have to deny myself because I find the act itself disgusting. And when the kiss is over I feel like I'm going to puke. Literally. My stomach just goes upside down.

    So if we look at this logically - Am I denying my true self when I don't want to kiss someone? I don't think so, but forcing myself to kiss someone would actually be denying myself. And there is no reason not to believe there aren't people who have similar or worse problems. What I'm trying to say it that assexuality is definitely not as simple as you may think.
     
  6. JaimeGaye

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    I can't argue against your point, if I could actually see your point from your point of view which I cannot and hence the reason I began my post with "Not intentionally trying or attempting to come across as offensive,,," I simply offered an opinion.
    You however appear to be projecting an attempt to offend me by stating "I'll stop you right here,,,"
    What gives you a perceived right and/or justification to limit my opinion and to call me wrong, basically calling me a liar is what you did, when by your own admission you don't even identify as asexual ?
     
  7. keepmeanon

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    Asexuals can get aroused, they just don't have anyone to point that arousal towards. So yes, there are asexuals that masturbate. They just don't do it for the same reasons as an allosexual.
     
  8. keepmeanon

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    Okay, no. That's the equivalent of saying that in my opinion, being gay is just a phase and they just didn't find the right one yet. Just because it's an opinion it doesn't make it right and just because you don't understand how someone can't experience sexual attraction it doesn't mean that asexuals are denying their identities. The same way a gay person isn't attracted to the opposite sex, an asexual person isn't attracted to either. It's not a matter of opinion.
     
  9. JaimeGaye

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    Are you asexual then?
     
  10. keepmeanon

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  11. keepmeanon

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    I'm aspec at the very least. Most likely demisexual. I have non-libidoist asexual friends though and they'll tell you the same thing.
     
  12. JaimeGaye

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    Interesting because by listing yourself as "Questioning" then admitting you are something not in the actual binary of asexual you are admitting you are not actually asexual and your retort to me is simply an opinion of your own based on people who identify as asexual as my opinion is also so based.
    You see, I too know people who have self identified as asexual at some point in their life, a couple of cases being individuals self mutilating (Removal of primary genitalia).
    Upon intense therapy the individuals did indeed conclude they did have a deeply hidden, shut away sexual identity that they did not wish to act upon for whatever reason.
    Documented cases can be studied through research papers that are available to academics as well.
    The point I am making is that am not so convinced asexuality is a permanent binary identity but rather a state of temporary flux.
    The OP's question is quite interesting as for a true asexual to have desires of masturbation or psychosomatic nocturnal sexual release indicates somewhere in the brain a cause of sexual stimulation is being acted upon.
    True asexuals have no libido driven impulses period.
    True asexuals are actually extremely rare.
     
  13. Chip

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    The research over the last 6 decades shows otherwise. Asexuality most certainly exists, but it is rare. I do agree that the overwhelming majority of people who adopt the label don't meet the widely-recognized definition of it, and have essentially hijacked the term. But let's not throw the baby out with the bathwater.
     
  14. Chip

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    This is a behavioral response, not hardwired sexual orientation.

    The problems you describe are almost certainly conditioned rather than hardwired. Conditioned behaviors can be addressed and resolved; hardwired ones cannot. Now... to be clear, asexuals exist but asexuals (according to the widely used definition) would simply have no interest in sex rather than having revulsion.
     
  15. Chip

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    'Non-libidoist asexual friends". Now I think I've heard everything.
     
  16. keepmeanon

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    Physical arousal and actual attraction are separate from each other. Rape victims often find themselves aroused as a defense mechanism. It doesn't mean they're sexually attracted.

    People who self mutilate are likely suffering from mental illness, it doesn't have anything to do with asexuality itself. People you self mutilate their gentiles might be more likely to be asexual but at the same time, a lot of pedophiles are gay. That doesn't make gay people pedophiles with surpressed feelings.

    My sexuality is listed as questioning for separate reasons. I'm fairly comfortable using the label biromantic demisexual but I also have really bad OCD which prevents me from settling and stop questioning. I want to be sure.

    You say that you're not convinced that asexuality is a permanent binary but is any orientation truly permanent? There are straight people who have had crushes on people of the same sex at some point in their life, wouldn't that be a temporary flux? An asexual suddenly finding their sexuality is just as likely as a straight person finding their attraction to members of the opposite sex. Anything is technically open to change. That being said, there are numerous older asexuals who never found themselves sexually attracted to anyone.

    You can find more information on AVEN but asexuality is broad and it all depends on the definition you give it. For some people it's a lack of drive, for others it's a lack of attraction. It depends.
     
  17. Chip

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    Please don't waste time on AVEN. Almost nothing there is based on facts, credible research, science, or even widely-accepted clinical practice. It's crowsourced groupthink that is almost entirely science-free.

    The overwhelming majority of people have stable, hardwired sexual orientation, which can include asexuality. And a hardwired sexual orientation can be "bisexual" which is inherently flexible. But the majority of the credible research shows that most people, while orientation tends to cluster at one end or the other, tend to be somewhere on the spectrum rather than at one extreme end or the other. Additionally, most people tend to stay wherever they are on the spectrum over time (barring the experimentation that many people do in their teens and perhaps early 20s.)

    Someone who claims to be asexual, and later finds sexual attraction, was probably not asexual (as the word is widely used by professionals in the field) to begin with, and more likely had one of the co-occurring disorders (anxiety, depression, childhood trauma, other family-of-origin issues) that suppressed sexual desire and emotional expression. These are behavioral problems, not hardwired sexual orientation, and the misrepresentation and misuse of terminology (and making up of unsupported labels based on absolutely nothing other than crowdsourced groupthink) by this tiny-but-loud group is doing an enormous disservice to people.
     
  18. JaimeGaye

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    I must admit my use of the term "Every" was indeed a bit broad and I realized that too late to use the edit feature and correct the wording to "The majority of identifying asexuals are simply,,,"
    That boo boo is on me.
     
  19. Chip

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    I don't have any data to definitively say that the majority of self-described asexuals don't meet the widely-accepted definition, but I do suspect it is probably the case. That's a real pity, as that's a whole bunch of people who might be able to experience one piece of life that they aren't now experiencing, because some numbnut convinced them that what they have is hardwired and unchangeable. But even with that said, I want to be careful to be respectful to those who are, as well as to those who may not meet the widely used definition, but nonetheless choose that label for whatever reason.
     
    #19 Chip, Mar 9, 2018
    Last edited: Mar 9, 2018
  20. Wolf123

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    I have a friend who identifies as asexual and she says like everything its on a spectrum.