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disability guilt

Discussion in 'General Support and Advice' started by europeanguy, May 2, 2021.

  1. Shadowsettler

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    Also, look into EMDR therapy. It's far better and more effective than CBT (although CBT is still important).
     
  2. europeanguy

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    I got officially diagnosed by specialists for autism, and plus ive met too many autistics that are carbon copies of me o doubt it haha.

    I dunno what the extreme death would be desirable episodes are though
     
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  3. Shadowsettler

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    You are likely suicidal.
    Definitely look into EMDR. It's not like normal therapy. It's specialized trauma therapy.

    @europeanguy
     
    #23 Shadowsettler, May 12, 2021
    Last edited: May 12, 2021
  4. europeanguy

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    yeah id definitely say that im quite like that most nights, sometimes I get close, other times i only daydream. but ive worked out long ago nobody cares and only want you to keep quiet so I do
     
  5. QuietPeace

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    You keep listing your issues and saying that you have decided that anyone is better off not being around you. I think that you have absorbed your parents abuse and that is your real problem here. You do it to yourself as much as they do it to you. This is natural and it is something that I have done also.

    You list your major issues as
    Autism, Dyspraxia, Chronic food issues, Bipolar w suicidal depression, PTSD

    I am also autistic and to the point that I can only survive with help from others, including visual and auditory processing issues, social issues, severe sensory issues and more.
    I am not diagnosed dyspraxic but I have coordination issues that indicate that I likely am.
    I have severe food intolerances, though not as severe as yours.
    I am diagnosed Schizoaffective disorder with Bipolar type II - this means that I hallucinate and that I am chronically clinically depressed (I have deliberately overdosed 10 times in attempts to die and at least one of those times I was clinically dead, more than one other time I only survived by being on a respirator for a few days)
    I am diagnosed PTSD and have been told by a psychologist that it is probably actually C-PTSD.
    I also have other issues (you can read them by going to my profile and reading my personal details)
    With all of that, I have been in relationships and am currently in a relationship.

    Additionally I know other people with just as severe issues who also have found relationships.

    I say once again. If you decide that you do not want to be in a relationship that is your choice. If you work on being a friend to others and developing friendships you might be able to find someone to have a relationship with. If you do not want to do the work that is your choice.
     
    #25 QuietPeace, May 12, 2021
    Last edited: May 12, 2021
  6. ShyBirdy

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    I can't tell you guys how much I've needed this thread!
    I also struggle with disabilities, mostly mental health problems (severe anxiety/panic disorder/agoraphobia), plus severe fatigue (don't have a diagnosis for that yet). I tend to just get overwhelmed with life, so I spend a lot of time at home relaxing and hiding from the world. It's just really nice to learn that there are other people out there with similar issues- and that they have been able to have relationships/find love.

    @Suitsme Your posts are lovely and your husband/best friend sounds like such a wonderful companion! I'm glad that you have artistic outlets too, and it's wonderful that you're contributing so much to your community (and this board!) I just want to let you know that your comments on various threads have really helped me a lot. And I love your avatar!


    For @europeanguy please don't give up. You have wonderful written communication skills, and I do think you have a lot to offer the world. I also think therapy is a good idea, though you may have to search to find a therapist that you can connect with. As for dating: plenty of people with autism find people to date and to have relationships with.
    You mentioned that you don't have many friends: there may be social groups, clubs or clubhouses in your area for people who specifically have autism and or mental health problems, or other disabilities.
    I live in Canada, and I even found a Zoom group for gay youth with autism that allows people to just listen in or type their comments if they're really struggling with communication.

    For myself: I've been working hard at improving my mental health: I have a support group I attend (on Zoom now cuz of Covid), I take psych meds, and I see a counsellor. It's taken me over a decade to get to a point where I can have a very part time job (about 3-6 hours per week). I've always done a lot of volunteer work tho- especially with animals and art. I also love to paint, and I'm even selling the artwork that I make now. I hope to be a professional artist one day. I've never dated, but I do have some good friends, and I'm connected with the art community in my area.
     
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  7. Suitsme

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    Thank you so much @ShyBirdy

    I am so happy to hear that some of my posts have helped you. I also really struggle with my mental health due to my illnesses. I have anxiety and depression. I get panic attacks also.

    5 years ago my cardiologist wanted me to have a ferritin check. I’d never even heard of ferritin at the time. Ferritin is a blood protein and it is where body iron stores are kept. It’s akin to a car with a petrol tank. So we can be checked for anaemia where they look at haemoglobin. That can be fine but our stores (our petrol tank) may be depleting. My ferritin level was incredibly low and I was iron deficient. I’d been having horrific panic attacks. I’ve been supplementing with high dose iron for the past 5 years. This gets my ferritin higher but when I stop supplementing it drops again. You can be iron deficient without being anaemic. Lack of iron can cause depression, anxiety and fatigue amongst other things. It might be worth getting your levels checked. Don’t be fobbed off by doctors telling you your levels are normal either because the aim is to get ferritin to 100 to be symptom free.

    I’m so glad that you have been able to sell your art!!! That is so good to hear. Art really helps with anxiety. I’ve been doing some coloured pencil drawings recently and have just completed a cat for a friend of mine and she is so pleased with it.

    I totally understand agoraphobia and I’m so glad that you are getting the help that you need.

    Feel free to message me anytime if you need an understanding friend.
     
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  8. europeanguy

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    I never tend to fit in even with other autistics haha I always end up really annoying everyone and ruining it somehow......it just feels like so long since i made a friend at all that its like, ive lost touch with reality almost and dont feel real. im a british laddo haha (guy)

    I hope whoever gets stuck with me gets given a big karmic reward haha.
     
  9. Suitsme

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    Ahhhhh that explains the zany sense of humour similar to mine! A Brit! :grin:
     
  10. QuietPeace

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    I understand where you are coming from. I have the same issue, even with that I have found that it is possible to make friends when I work at it.
     
  11. europeanguy

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    haha yeah! a Yorkshireman brit! das me!


    perhaps meeting people with something in common breaks the ice? ive rarely if not really ever met someone who shares my obsession
     
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  12. Suitsme

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    Ah fantastic! You have a similar accent to mine then... I’m Lanky! Next door lol Born and bred in pie land (Wigan) and moved to Scotland (I’m half Lancashire half Scot) Wigan now comes under Greater Manchester.
     
  13. QuietPeace

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    One thing that I have learned is that it is possible to find things fun outside of my special interest (special interest is a kinder way of expressing it than obsession). Games are not my special interest but I do find them fun. I also spend time with people outside of organized activities like going out for tea/coffee and talking. I talk a lot less than most people in such situations and at times I have real problems with the interactions and people do notice that. By putting myself deliberately out there though I have found people who end up befriending me.
     
    #33 QuietPeace, May 15, 2021
    Last edited: May 15, 2021
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