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Difficulties with my mom (Transgender Issues)

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by MusicIsLife, Mar 20, 2013.

  1. MusicIsLife

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    Hey guys,

    So about two years ago or so I came out to my mom as FTM trans. She basically fell apart and she was so distraught by it I clammed up and didn't speak about it for a while. Then a year ago things started to finally get moving, as I decided that I wanted to transition, signed up for a waiting list for hormones at a local clinic and started seeing someone regularly about it and began hanging out with other trans guys around my age. Again I brought up the whole Trans issue and brought her to meet my counselor. It was like talking to a brick wall of denial. She'd simply repeat the same questions over and over in a different form, ie are you sure which is a common one, and she is dead convinced that I'm not actually trans because i could never stick to a decision in college, so how could I be so sure about this?

    So its been about a year since then, and I've been having a tough time socially. I'm depressed, I have bad anxiety, the smallest thing sets me off. Basically, I am just so ready to start hormones, but I need to wait just a little longer, and I am super fed up of waiting. Because of this depression I have been hiding out a lot in my bedroom, watching my tv shows and being on the internet near-constantly or writing. Its my way of coping. My mom didnt get this and just constantly gave me a hard time about it. So the other day I tried to bring it up again, but this time in the form of trying to explain why I was depressed to her. I thought she would understand this, because shes been depressed herself. Booooy was I wrong.

    It turned into her crying and telling me that no one will ever see me as male and because I'm depressed that must mean i'm having second thoughts and I shouldnt transition. I left for work shaking, and it was NOT fun. The next day she told me she wanted to pay for me to see a professional, and agreed to let me pick the person i go see. Though I know she wants me to see someone to "be sure about this" I intend to use this opportunity to get my referral to an endocrinologist to hopefully start T earlier.

    I move out this summer, in about 3 and a half months. I was just wondering what you guys think I should be doing about my mom until then. Thanks, I know it's long.