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Difference in political views

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by Dryad, May 26, 2017.

  1. Dryad

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    Have you ever been dating someone with completely opposite political views from you? How would you handle it if your partner was, for example, a liberal, and you were a communist?
     
  2. Lazuri

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    "If you care about somebody, don't discuss religion or politics with them."

    It's a great motto to have.
     
  3. Kenaz

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    No religious and political discussion is often a good way to maintain harmony among people. However, these can be very deeply important things for people in a relationship.

    Even more interesting is a relationship between people who are conservative and liberal. The truth is, we are all often 'liberal' on some points, and 'conservative' on other points. Labels are pretty messy, and often inaccurate. We are much more than a definition and a box.

    I've found that at the root of everyone's identities, beyond the banter, there is a lot of fear, concern, and good intentions behind everyone's views. If we take time to understand their story, and where they are coming from, gently and non-judgmentally, then we can find some common ground in our shared humanity.
     
  4. Lazuri

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    Lot of "if" there. The reason I avoid those topic in specific is because they're loaded and VERY easily become heated arguments. I'd rather argue about something dumb, like who has the best zombie escape plan.
     
  5. Chiroptera

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    I disagree. If you care about somebody, you will like/love that person regardless of religion or politics. In my point of view, a relationship where you can't discuss something is a fragile relationship (i mean, of course there will be more delicate subjects, but to the point of ending the relationship if you discuss it? I don't think that's healthy).

    I have dated some people with different political/religious views than me. Nothing completely opposite on the political side, but my ex-boyfriend and ex-girlfriend had completely different religious beliefs (we ended the relationships because of other reasons).

    I think it is easier to approach people that think like you do. But i prefer to analyze people entirely, and not just because one or two labels (liberal/communist/catholic/satanist/etc).

    Quoting kenaz:


    That's the point. Humans are complex. It is hard to 100% define someone with a political label. You can have friendly discussions with someone who thinks exactly the opposite of what you think. It is up to you and that person to control the discussion and avoid a real fight. That's possible.
     
  6. Tre

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    If we get along on other stuff it may not be a big deal.
     
  7. timo

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    I will not date anyone who's on the complete opposite of the political spectrum. I'm very passionate about my beliefs, and also like to discuss politics. It will inevitably clash.

    There's nothing wrong with different beliefs though. Just, if your point of view is extremely far away from mine, I'm not giving it a chance.
     
  8. anthracite

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    A friend of mine is completely on the left. Me - comservative. It works but I couldn't imagine that for a date, since if it works we would share our lifes and live together. I'm a very political person, I couldn't keep my mouth shut.

    If the debate culture was different, if opposing views could not see each other as enemies, it might work. But it's all very tense currently.
     
  9. Awesome

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    No. I would never date some racist, homophobic, transphobic asshole who thinks people shouldn't have access to safe abortions and is a climate denier and an anti-vaxxer who believes that people who can't pay for their life-saving medicines deserve to die. I could never date someone who doesn't share my basic moral values.
     
  10. Kenaz

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    Hi,
    I've found hard to be conservative and identify as gay sometimes. I feel like I am the only one. I am not strictly "a conservative," but I am certainly less extreme to one or the other, middle at the least.

    I am really sick of the attacks from extremists on the left and the right. Although, to be fair, I've been around much more of the former in my recent experience.

    In the news, there are people being beaten and serious security needed to have conservative thinkers on campuses in the USA right now. That's scary, regardless of if you agree with them or not.

    I believe in vaccines. I believe that there is a good chance of global warming, and that available evidence and my deductions from it indicate the Earth is warming up and changing. I am gay, and support people different than me. In fact, I love learning about all cultures, religions, and views -- and I enjoy a good debate and dialogue on how we approach life differently. It's fascinating! I also support lessening restrictions on gun rights, believe in fiscal conservatism, and feel that drugs should be non-punitive, but that crimes that result from them (robbery, driving under the influence, assault, domestic violence, rape, etc) should still be prosecuted.

    It's not so simple. We are not boxes. We all come to our conclusions for different reasons. The dialogue between DIVERSE people is closing, and we are beginning to see people becoming more polarized and closed off. That is, in my estimate, the real wall in America to be afraid of.
     
  11. Aussie792

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    There are obviously non-negotiable facts upon which any legitimate belief must be founded. Being politically untethered from truth plays into broader factors about a person such as education, intellectual discipline and willingness to adapt and acknowledge fault. Climate change denial is an obvious example of a fundamental failure.

    On the level of moral convictions, I don't think I could date anyone who didn't believe in an internationalist liberal-democratic order. That isn't to say no other worldview is valid. It's just that at a core level, my entire moral framework and a constant theme in how I think even on a day-to-day basis is grounded in that system. That is so central to me that I couldn't date someone who didn't share that broad view. My boyfriend is certainly more conservative than I am but knowing we agree on the fundamental principles reduces the stakes of any political argument. Ultimately it boils down a question of by which manner we enhance the liberal society we have a shared commitment to, which is never going to lead to a massive fight.

    Lastly, I couldn't be with someone uninterested in politics or whose politics were entirely contrarian. I am deeply political, albeit with dull beliefs, and I take politics incredibly seriously. I feel there's something essential missing when people don't care about politics. When people are contrarian and irreverent, I feel like it's always a mask for not really knowing or caring at all, at least not on a productive level.
     
  12. PatrickUK

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    It very much depends on you, as an individual. If you regard people with different political opinions as 'the enemy' (or something close to that) it's going to be impossible to date, or even be friendly with someone who doesn't share your views and that's going to make life quite hard for you. If you're prepared to be reasonable and pragmatic, you can find a way past all of that and if any of you have any thoughts or ideas of seeking political office and getting things done you will need to understand how important it is to be reasonable and pragmatic with your opponents.

    If you look at world politics you will see friendships across the political divide. In the UK I have witnessed leading politicians from the Conservative Party ripping into opponents in the Labour Party on television, or during a debate, only to have drinks together half an hour later. It's often in this more convivial atmosphere, away from the public gaze that words become actions.
     
  13. midwestgirl89

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    No I'd never date a conservative Republican. We would be too different and not able to relate on basic levels. i wouldn't be able to share my authentic self if I had to mute my personality.

    ---------- Post added 27th May 2017 at 07:43 AM ----------

    I think being friends with people who disagree on fundamental levels is more realistic than dating partners.
     
    #13 midwestgirl89, May 27, 2017
    Last edited by a moderator: May 27, 2017
  14. Calf

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    Political views are often based on moral and ethical beliefs and values so it would probably be a deeper mismatch than just who you vote for when the time comes.

    Often a persons views can change if they are willing and given good reason to but it's no use in trying to change your own beliefs -or asking someone to compromise theirs- just to try and make a relationship work.

    It can work well to have some difference in a relationship and to be able to adjust to your partners views changing but why make things hard from the beginning if it's not necessary.
     
  15. OGS

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    I guess if we disagree about who should run the water reclamation district that's probably alright. But the fact of the matter is that for me political views are about one's basic vision of morality and ethics. There are quite a few commonly held political beliefs that I think are... immoral. There are all sorts of ways I can interact productively with people I disagree with fundamentally, serious dating isn't one of them.
     
  16. BostonStranger

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    I wouldn't mind dating someone with different political views, but I can see it becoming a problem in a relationship. I'm very politically active, so political discussions are inevitable. I would never date someone who's far right though.
     
  17. RainbowGreen

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    I consider being religious a deal breaker, so no.

    As for political views, I you're too far from mine, I won't date you. As I see it, politics represent your values. You think poor people should not have free access to healthcare/education? Well, you won't fare well with me at all.

    I tend to be very into politics, but I also have mixed views about a lot of subjects, so I have trouble finding someone who's not too left or right, really.
     
  18. Reciprocal

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    What about someone who has different opinions to you, but doesn't fit this description? You seem to be talking about a very extreme conflict of opinion here.
     
  19. midwestgirl89

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    I have to agree. For me there are things I don't care if we disagree on but others that are not negotiable. I am ok if someone is not ok with having an abortion themselves as long as they aren't close-minded and are ok with others having access to them.

    However if someone is anti-LGBT (that'd be kind of ironic lol), anti-minorities, or some other things it'd be a deal breaker. If they voted for a Republican in their life I really don't care. If they voted for a /certain/ Republican, it would be a deal breaker.

    We would have to agree on moral issues or we would not get along or understand each other on basic levels. We would probably get into stupid fights eventually. It would not be a happy relationship. Political differences can actually be a big deal if it is a core part of who you are.
     
    #19 midwestgirl89, May 27, 2017
    Last edited by a moderator: May 27, 2017
  20. TheOneCactus

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    I dont really care about politics or religion as much as nationalistic standpoints. I am very pro my country and generally cant get on with people who are against it. I think im this way due to the war we are having which shows allies and enemies and me being extremely nationalistic is effecting my choices