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Difference between 'mostly gay' and 'gay leaning bisexual'

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by Scifiguy338, Jan 17, 2015.

  1. Scifiguy338

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    I've come across useful categories in describing attractions along a continuum. The categories are straight, mostly straight, straight leaning bisexual, bisexual, gay leaning bisexual, mostly gay and gay. I often find myself confused as to where I belong in these categories, and I am trying to decide between mostly gay and gay leaning bisexual. It's pretty much trying to decide between a kinsey 4 and 5, in which I feel like I'm in between a lot. My attraction to men is always there, but my attraction to women fluctuates between subtle to moderate [I'm romantically attracted to both equally, I think or maybe women slitely more?]. I'm definitely not turned off by women, but rarely am I turned on. When I'm aroused, though, women tend to fuel my arousal, like men. My question is basically what is the difference between mostly gay and gay leaning bisexual? The same can be applied to the difference between mostly straight and straight leaning bisexual. Is it about how frequent and/or strong the attractions are to the less preferred sex, that makes the difference? Just want to know what others think.:slight_smile:
     
  2. crazycat

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    Well I feel that the kinsey scale can be a little limiting since it doesn't take into account romantic attraction. I would go off of how often you feel attracted to women vs. how often you feel attracted to men. That being said, in the end it is up to you to define your orientation.
     
  3. PossumJack

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    As someone who identifies as mostly gay, I'd say it's really the frequency of how often you're attracted to men/women. For example, I like to say that I'm "90% gay", because 9 out of 10 times I'd be attracted to men rather than women.

    That being said though, I don't think there's actually a very clear difference between "mostly gay" and "gay-leaning bisexual". It all just depends on which label feels more comfortable to you as an individual.
     
  4. Scifiguy338

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    I agree with you here. Romantic attraction is as important as sexual attraction, and for some people one or the other is a more important factor in defining their orientation. That being said, when I'm out in public, I notice men and women who are attractive, and I recognize their attractiveness and might think ''damn.'' But when it comes to actually being turned on, its mainly men who turn me on, except the occasional girl that turns me on. In sexual fantasies, I think of both sexes, but it depends on my mood, otherwise it's mostly men. Reflecting on the past year, sexual attractions have seemed to fluctuate between mostly gay and gay leaning bisexual. So its hard to pinpoint an identity, so I just go with queer or whatever. As for genderfluid and genderqueer people, I don't know any in person, so I can't tell what I feel for them sexually.

    ---------- Post added 18th Jan 2015 at 06:47 PM ----------

    I don't think there is a clear difference between mostly gay and gay leaning bisexual either. Its just a way of categorizing points of attractions along a continuum. For me, the ratio of my attractions to men vs women fluctuates a lot, but I could average it at 75:25 perhaps. I don't know really. Lol.:lol:
     
  5. TheStormInside

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    I try to think of it practically- if you see yourself dating/sleeping with both men and women, probably bi leaning toward gay would be the best way to explain that. If you see yourself mostly dating/sleeping with men, but *maybe* you are open to the idea of a woman if you met the right one, "mostly gay" probably describes that better.

    I consider myself "mostly gay" or "Kinsey 5 lesbian" or "homoflexible" at this point. I feel like I'm mainly attracted to women, don't really have a desire to sleep with men or be with them beyond friendship, while I do desire those things with women. But, I don't rule out the possibility that I could meet a guy I really clicked with on that level. Part of this may be because I'm still not feeling totally secure or solid in my identity, so I am willing to explore if an opportunity that feels "right" arises, I suppose.
     
  6. Scifiguy338

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    :eusa_clap I like the way you distinguished the two categories. The same thing applies to ''mostly straight'' people, many of whom I know. They often say they are mainly attracted to the opposite sex, but wouldn't rule out the possibility of someone of the same sex. Also, often mostly straight people are the ones that might say ''there was this one time back in college when I did it with *someone of the same sex* or I'm straight but I would go gay for him/her...etc''
    A straight leaning bisexual though, would experience more consistent attractions to the same sex than a mostly straight person, and would maybe want to date/sleep with the same sex. Wanting to date isn't compulsory to be bi, just being attracted to more than one sex is. But if the person wants to be practical, they could use a practical term for themselves.
     
  7. kindy14

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    Meh, what use are labels. I see a guy or girl I'm interested in, I pursue.

    I don't seem to have a problem finding guys to hookup with me. And I've got a couple of gals I'm looking to meetup with. I'm just out of a 21 year marriage, and I'm getting rather horny/slutty at the moment. I'm not looking for a romantic hookup, just short term fun.

    I'm bisexual, leaning to who ever is available and attractive.
     
  8. robclem21

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    This made me laugh. We need an orientation for attraction to people who are available.

    Also, good advice. I hate the overuse of labels. Just makes life confusing and more difficult for people to understand us.
     
  9. Scifiguy338

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    I have pretty much given up trying to put myself in a category at the moment. It fluctuates too much. My physical, emotional, sexual and romantic attractions are all different. So basically I've accepted that whoever I like, I like and who I fall for, I fall for. If anyone asks, my answer is queer. Any further detail needed and I would say bi or homoflexible or biromantic, depending on the context.