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Did you make a point to come out? Or not?

Discussion in 'LGBT Later in Life' started by LostInDaydreams, Jan 12, 2020.

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  1. Unsure77

    Unsure77
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    I told my close circle of friends partly so I could be more open in conversations, partly so they wouldn’t get taken by surprised if and when I showed up with a girlfriend, and partly in case I needed their support. But these are my sort of chosen family type friends. I didn’t feel like I owed them that knowledge, though. I wanted them to know because it made things easier.
     
    #21 Unsure77, Jan 15, 2020
    Cool Bananas, Siananigen, LostInDaydreams and 2 others like this.
  2. LostInDaydreams

    LostInDaydreams
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    Thank you all for your replies - I have been reading them.

    I agree that it’ll probably easier that some people do know, as @Unsure77 says. This is why I started the thread - it’s the only reason that I can see for making a point to come out. I’ll see how it goes, I really don’t see myself having a conversation with the prior intent of telling somebody. That’s mostly because I don’t think people will be particularly interested or care.

    To be honest, I don’t really feel an urge to tell people. Now I’m single, I don’t feel trapped anymore so that urge has disappeared. I did feel it when I was with my (male) ex and even wanted to dress in a way that might indicate that I was gay, but now I’m not especially bothered about whether I come across as gay or straight or whatever.
     
    #22 LostInDaydreams, Jan 16, 2020
  3. Unsure77

    Unsure77
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    Out to everyone
    I've heard it said (probably on here somewhere) that coming out is for you and what you need. It's not for anyone else. And at this point (a year in) I kind of think that's true. The one time I let myself get pressured into telling someone out of a sense of "obligation" was the one time I wound up regretting it.

    I'm also learning I wasn't hiding it as well as I thought. Basically anyone I know who has spent a significant amount of time around queer women has indicated it's fairly apparent. I'm kind of afraid to know what that means I'm doing, but apparently I seriously trip some people's gaydar when they're used to being around lesbians.
     
    #23 Unsure77, Jan 16, 2020
    Drizzle, Really and CatWho like this.
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