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Did puberty change my sexuality?

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by alienatedapple, Dec 16, 2015.

  1. alienatedapple

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    I'll get right into it; I've always felt, sort of invalidated because everyone else who is not straight always talks about knowing at a very young age. When I was younger, I always had crushes on boys. I mean, I'll be honest, I would often times find myself staring at someone's boobs or whatnot,, but never had an actual "crush." But then pubert happened. It was around seventh grade that I started noticing girls I guess. They were pretty. I would find myself in the locker room (yeah I know it sound perverted) staring at girls' breasts and legs and just thinking about how beatiful they are. That's when I first thought that I could be bisexual. I still had crushes on guys, yes, but that slowly declined. Now here I am- identifying as lesbian. Why? Because I have this sort of craving to just be with a woman, ya know? I want cuddles and kisses and all that other cutesy stuff. Just not from a guy. Thing is, I'm not romantically attracted to anyone at the moment. I'm thinking I might have a sort of crush on this girl on my basketball team, but I'm not sure if it's in a romantic way or just pure admiration. Guys, I can recognize when they're cute, but over time my interest in them has pretty much declined to zero. Dating a guy, penises, all that stuff grosses me out. This wasn't how I felt before puberty though. So I guess I have two questions. Can your sexuality change during puberty? And how do you know your sexuality if you don't romantically like anyone?
     
    #1 alienatedapple, Dec 16, 2015
    Last edited: Dec 16, 2015
  2. Manitoban

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    I think it's pretty common to not realize your sexuality until later. I did finally realize that I was gay until a couple years ago. Some don't until their 20's, some not till 60. Sometimes for whatever reason our minds dont put two and two together, or we dont want to find that conclusion.

    As far as puberty "changing" it? I dont think many people can definitely say, straight or gay, that they knew before then. It is after all your sexual awakening.
     
  3. hispanicninja9

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    Yes, sexuality can change through time. Media and practically everyone thinks that sexuality is always forever and that you should have it resolved by the time you are 25-30(at least that's the vibe I get). But actually it can change.
    I understand your concern, that's pretty much what is happening to me with my sexuality(and now that I wrote it, I realise that's what's happening with me generally). How can you be proud of your sexuality or anything about yourself if it isn't consistent with time?
    Well, I think you are not obligated to always like someone(either romantically or sexually). Maybe you don't like someone romantically now. You did in the past? Then perhaps it can happen to you again. Maybe tomorrow or next month you'll meet a nice girl and you'll like her. Or maybe this girl you know now will grow on you and one day you'll realise you like her.
    I feel like people is always pushing themselves to be around other persons and knowing potential couples and I don't know why.
     
  4. DougTheBicycle

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    I know what you mean when you say you felt invalidated. I don't post on this site as much as I would like because I feel I don't have as much experience to offer, only knowing my sexuality for...*checks watch*...almost a year? Sexuality can definitely change over time, whether from us repressing it or just not realizing it. Being bi, my preferences change almost weekly. One week it's girls, next it's guy, then I'm super into andro dudes and chicks...It's annoying.

    Anywho, people realize at different times and stages in life. It is totally believable that puberty is what did it for you. :grin: No need to fret.

    Also, nice avi!
     
  5. SHACH

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    I think puberty is the perfect time to know, as someone said its your time of sexual awakening. Me, I'm 17, puberty has already happened and I only started working out I liked girls this summer. I used to be totally into guys. Now I feel like I can still feel sexually towards them but I don't care... Like I think guys are really hot an the idea of sex with a guy is fine, I mean I've fantisised about it a lot in the past, but I wanna have a girlfriend and thinking sexually about girls makes me much happier.... So yeah, you're doing better than me if you've already gone through this process in puberty and there's no reason to feel invalidated by not having childhood signs because you shouldn't really have a proper sexuality during childhood.

    On the subject on how do you know if you don't romantically like anyone... My main thing was realising that ALL my obsessive celebrity crushes were girls throughout my whole life, and I never understood boy band fans, why people particularly liked all the usual male actor suspects etc. There's something distinctly gay about that. I also looked over female friendships that i was probably too invested in, in the past. But you should probably talk to that basketball girl more and see how you're feeling about it. Realising I had a crush on one of my female friends was the final piece in the puzzle that made me go "okay I am not straight. I really cannot try and convince myself of that any more".
     
  6. ForNarnia

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    I don't think puberty changed your sexuality, more made it noticeable to you. It's the time when everyone starts feeling urges and hormones are racing and all that other stuff :slight_smile: It's perfectly okay to not know from a young age. You are valid.
     
  7. MossyCave

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    When you go into puberty, you start experiencing sexual attraction. So it didn't "change". I am the same as you, when I was a teenager I identified as a lesbian, but anytime I heard "born this way" I was like NO! I thought I was straight when I was a kid, I crushed on boys, but then thinking back I did like some women, I just didn't realize at the time. You sound like a teenager so I'm going to say that your sexuality is still developing, technically you don't know what your romantic orientation is yet. You experienced a change in puberty and you'll probably experience more changes. Maybe your sexual attraction for women is just overpowering any physical attraction you would have for men.
     
  8. headsup1958

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    Beginning in puberty I realize (now anyway) that I was different than all the other boys. The youngest of four brothers, I was different than they were, different from my peers and didn't fit in anywhere. It wasn't until my mid twenties that a switch was turned on. The new feelings, thoughts and fantasies emerged yet it wasn't until 32 that I began to explore this side of myself. It took me until 56 to finally come out and be comfortable in doing so.
     
  9. darkcomesoon

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    Crushes you have as a kid aren't always indicative of your sexuality because before puberty you haven't actually developed any sort of real attraction. Given that all girls are expected to crush on boys, I'm not surprised that you had crushes on boys. Once you went through puberty, you started experiencing genuine attraction, and that attraction was only to girls. So I wouldn't say it really changed your sexuality. It just revealed it.
     
    #9 darkcomesoon, Dec 17, 2015
    Last edited: Dec 17, 2015