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Did I Just Come Out?

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by BiDragon, Jan 1, 2018.

  1. BiDragon

    Regular Member

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    Hello EC!

    I was talking to my mom a few minutes ago, and I showed her this picture that related to a transgender thing. Soon after she asked me if I was trans, and boom, I said yes. That’s really all she asked, before changing subjects a bit later. I’m pretty sure I just came out, but I’m kind of confused since my mom didn’t ask too many questions. What should I do?
     
  2. quebec

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    BiDragon....Ok, for starters, don''t hold your breath! :grin: I'm sure she heard you and is trying to decide how to respond. It's most likely a good sign that she didn't get upset and angry. Some people just naturally tend to restrain their reactions to surprise and then think through it. I hope that is what your mom is doing. If she says nothing for a few days you might want to consider bringing it back up...but that depends a lot on your/her past history. Sometimes the inadvertent "Whoops, did I just say that" can turn into a very good way to come out. I did that recently with a friend that I hadn't seen in quite a while. I had already thought about telling him, but I hadn't really made a decision. When I accidentally ran into him...it just kinda popped out of my disobedient mouth without my permission and when I wasn't expecting it! It turned out really great and I'm glad it happened! I do hope this works out well for you too! ...david
     
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  3. Owain

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    To be honest this is my reaction when people come out to me, because I don't really do the whole emotional thing, and usually it's just 'okay, cool,' and move on. I'd assume your mother gets it, and just isn't worried about it, or she might want to do her research herself rather than asking you a lot of personal questions, or be waiting for you to make the first move in talking about it if you want to rather than pushing you into it. I obviously don't know anything about your relationship, but for me and mine the 'no fuss' approach would be very welcome! But I'd say that definitely counts as coming out whatever the outcome :slight_smile:
     
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  4. jam93

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    Like others have said, she is probably just taking time to process. That's a big revolation, so it shouldn't be a suprise if she takes some time to think it through before she's ready to talk to you about it. She probably has a lot of mixed feelings now, and needs to sort them out a bit. I know if I had a kid, and they came out as tran, I'd feel pretty mixed about it too. I'd be proud of them for having the courage to tell me and happy they'd found thier true self, but also worried about the cost and difficultys of transioning, and scared for them, knowing how hard the world can be for trans individuals. Your mom probabbly has a lot of these same feelings, and perhaps others depending on her beliefs and knowledge about trans people. Since she asked you like that I would bet she had a suspicion that you might be trans beforehand. However sometimes having a suspicion like that confirmed can be almost more jaring then finding out something you never had a clue about. I'd give her some time, see if she comes to you. If not, after a reasonable time, if you feel close enough to her to do so, you might want to go talk to her about it, make sure everything is ok. When you do this it would probably be good to be ready for a lot of questions, some that will probably be very awkward. I hope things work out for you. This may not be how you wanted to come out, but you did, so try to make the most of it. Good luck.