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Did anyone else ever have a period of time like this?

Discussion in 'Gender Identity and Expression' started by ParadoxMason, May 21, 2021.

  1. ParadoxMason

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    May 20, 2021
    Messages:
    6
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    Location:
    USA West Coast
    Gender:
    Male (trans*)
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Other
    Out Status:
    Family only
    Did anyone else ever have a period of time where their gender identity flipped to being outright happy that you were born as your assigned gender? It was really weird, I was dysphoric the day before and then I took a shower and I was like "Wow! I'm a pretty girl!" and immediately felt that transitioning would be 'ridiculous' for me. However, the gender dysphoria ended up coming back.
    I was only 13 at the time but both periods of time lasted for months, now I'm 16 and have never had anything like that since. I think I'm FtM but am not 100% certain because of that experience I had. Can you guys relate? I remember seeing about it on livejournal, I'd get the post but unfortunately I cannot access it right now.
     
  2. Katelyn93

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jan 23, 2014
    Messages:
    88
    Likes Received:
    35
    Location:
    Pretoria, South-Africa
    Gender:
    Female (trans*)
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Questioning
    Out Status:
    A few people
    I started exercising to help me cope with mental health stuff and get fit and focused and also lose weight. I've never been consciously disphoric as far as I can tell but I have like apathy towards my body and appearance and feel disconnected to some degree. Anyhow thanks to the exercise and my genetics I fairly quickly got into better shape to the point where when I look in the mirror I think I'm looking at a fairly good looking man, I'm proud of the progress but it still doesn't make me feel like me, when I dress up as myself though it's me, less or no disconnect and I faf about my appearance a lot, and I am more certain that I'm a girl. The fact that I could feel proud of my body being capable of doing what it does in terms of handling the exercise and forming the way it does confuses me a lot sometimes. Then again I've taken up the mindset that I can't get a new body, I just have to take it and make it mine, like moving into a house that needs to become a home. Some tattoos and piercings, if hormones make it more feminine I'd be happy, and I'll keep the exercise going and maybe be lucky enough to have a more athletetic build, be wonder woman even if it means making peace with the broad shoulders and more narrow hips. So if my body is to be mine for life even if it needs a bit of work, I don't see why I shouldn't be proud of it at least a little. It might not be perfect but it serves me well enough and I can always improve it. Though the periods of time in which I'd be happy being more masculine did its number on my certainty so I get where that comes from. Good luck, I hope you find your answer.