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Desperate for advice

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Empathy, Nov 27, 2016.

  1. Empathy

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    Hi, im Emily from the Netherlands, and im panromantic. Ive recently came out to my sister and best friend. It went quite well tbh, my sister even hopes i get a gf soon ^.^ She says she cant see me as straight, that ive always been a bit not so straight youknow? Anyways, i havent come out to everyone yet. I now need to face a bigger problem. My dad. He is really homophobic. He says stuff like: Oh he is the wrong kind. And by that he means someone is gay. He starts cringing as soon as he sees a same sex couple or a transgender-someone. Im just really afraid that coming out to him is gonna ruin our father-daughter relationship. I dont want that to happen. Please advice on how i can come out to himis needed!
     
  2. Sea Bass

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    IDK how to help. sorry........
     
  3. Empathy

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    Its okay.. I guess its not your problem after all :s
     
  4. Lora

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    I'm not a fan of telling the whole world about myself. I'm a private person and self-awareness and self-acceptance are more important to me. Each to his own.

    Having said this, do not come out to anyone who you think are not openminded. I say this because the last thing you want is tongue lashing or cold treatment that will dampen your spirit and pull you down to depression. You don't need to come out straightaway to your dad. A lot of us here in EC (according to some posts) haven't come out to our parents. It's the hardest thing to do. It'll be awesome if they are accepting but if they're not, then, thanks,but no thanks. Your dad has his own beliefs and prejudices. That's him. Just relax for now. Do not overthink or stress out too much. It's good that your sister is nonjudgmental and has accepted you. Again, you don't need to come out to everyone but if this is very important for you, then, thread carefully because it's not gonna be that easy. Goodluck.
     
  5. EvaDream

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    I guess with coming out to homophobic parents, a big issue is whether or not you're still living at home. The risk may not be as bad as being thrown out of home, but it could still be a toxic situation to return to everyday for a long period of time.

    Still, being closeted might just start to feel too bad to keep it to yourself and it might be worth doing.

    It might be worth speaking up when he says homophobic comments. Not in an argumentative way, but a calm & simple "there's nothing wrong with it". He will disagree but you don't have to keep talking about it. When you do eventually come out, he might be a little less surprised.