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Describe being in love

Discussion in 'LGBT Later in Life' started by Rade, Sep 11, 2018.

  1. Rade

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    Hello everyone
    This may sound stupid but what is true love and what does it feel like?

    I am bi/gay guy aged 42
    I dated a school friend between age 16 to 19 same sex as me. We enjoyed a physical relationship but being in the closet i always felt dirty and that I shouldn't be doing this. I don't think I was in love with him, more like lust. We were young and full of hormones....those were fun times!!!

    I then had a few yrs on my own not really knowing who I was...

    I then got married to my wife and we were together 20 yrs, this ended this year. While married to her I considered myself bisexual. I never fantasised about men during sex but often thought a threesome with a guy would have spiced it up. Again emotionally we were close and physically at times. But again I don't think a had a deep love for her.

    So I am now separated but co parent our kids . I am looking to date guys and would love to fall madly in love and be happy for the first time in my life.

    But I don't know what it is? Has anyone here experienced it?
    Hope I'm not being stupid!!
    Rade
     
  2. Nickw

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    Wow

    This is tough question. There is an old John Stewart song. "Some kind of Love". Check it out.
     
  3. Peterpangirl

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    For me romantic love is:
    Wanting to hear, touch, smell the person
    Wanting to see them smile and laugh and laugh with them
    Wanting to share my thoughts with them
    Thinking about them A LOT
    Missing their presence
    Imagining growing old with them
    Wanting to look after them
    Being comfortable with the idea of taking care of them as they age...
     
  4. Sundara

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    I have been through 2 serious relationships with guys, 1 not serious relationship with guy and a marriage with a woman. Now I am still married with her.
    The first relationship when I was 20s (now I am 44yo), it was only lust relationship and I was looking for experience, support and I never know what love is because may be I was too young to know what is love. I had almost 7 years together with him. He has a wife, we ( three of us) knew each other because my ex open to his wife.
    Then I married, I have two kids now. Then, I met with a not serious relationship with a guy but it started I tried to find a form of love which I never get it from my wife and my first ex bf. I had chance to find it because I was away thousand miles from my wife to get higher level education in another country. Even for the first time I love him but he is only need explore his gay world. So, I know myself that I can't continue my feeling for him.
    I am married with two kids, but I finally I know what is true love when I was 42 years old. I met him ( the 2nd serious relationship) and my feeling was connected in every part of my live, emotional, intellectual, physical, etc. Until now I still love him forever and I can't move and change him in mind with another guy.
    We broke up because time is over for me to stay in the country where I got my higher level of education.
    My love to him is not limited, unconditional and I have a dream to grow old together. Even I want to die in his arm. I don't have a goal anymore in my life except to be with him to organize and taking care of him.
    But, now I am living in my country to continue my life. And my feeling is always feel empty without him.
    I know what is true love now, but I need a miracle to live with him because I am married with a woman with kids in Islamic country.
    I want to get divorce to get my true love.
     
  5. Rade

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    I will have a listen thank you...
     
  6. Rade

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    Thank you for sharing your insight into your relationships. I am glad you have experienced true love and hope it returns to your life....
     
  7. Peterpangirl

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    And breathing in her smell from her t-shirt, which I sleep with in her absence...and looking forward to being able to make love as well as have sex.
     
    #7 Peterpangirl, Sep 12, 2018 at 12:21 PM
    Last edited: Sep 12, 2018 at 12:22 PM
  8. greatwhale

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    Feelings are fleeting, and love is no exception.

    I do love, with intention; to love is a verb.
     
  9. Rade

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    Wow, now I know, thank you for being honest, hopefully one day I will experience it....
     
  10. Peterpangirl

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    I feel my post (about the t-shirt) makes me look a bit sad, but it is indeed how I feel...and she's been sleeping with mine too. When we see each other we plan to exchange our t-shirts for another!!!
     
  11. Love4Ever

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    This is a very difficult question. Because it varies so much for people. But in general, I think it is being able to care about the well being of another person on a deeper level. Not just wishing them well, but actively making an effort to make them happy because when they are happy, you are. It is a very selfish thing.
     
  12. Rade

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    No...it shows how much you love eachother which is really sweet....
     
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  13. Contented

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    For me it waking up daily next to this gorgeous sexy man and knowing there is no where else on earth I would rather be than in his arms.
     
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  14. Love4Ever

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    Whooos! Just now saw this should say "unselfish."
     
  15. dirtyshirt84

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    For me, when I’m with the person I’m in love with the rest of the world may as well not exist :slight_smile:
     
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  16. SevnButton

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    Nope, not sad at all! In fact, quite touching. My take on it is that you experience fully through all your senses.
     
  17. SevnButton

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    I'm 60, male, & bi. In my 20's I had a very, very close relationship with a woman. I could tell her anything, and I did. We experienced something that we called "love rushes", where we'd be together, looking at each other, and the feeling of love would fill us completely, almost overwhelmingly. Tears would fill my eyes
    and all I wanted in the world was just to be with this person. It was wonderful!
     
  18. Nickw

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    Sven

    I had the same thing when I was a senior in college. A kid I had known, literally, her whole life, showed up all grown up. We had an intense affair with lots of times like that. She was just a freshman and was engaged. She broke off the engagement and we became engaged. Sort of..we never announced it.

    I was just discovering that being bisexual was not optional and it freaked me out. So, I broke up and moved a 1000 miles away because I couldn't marry her with this other "issue" I had. I felt My sexuality would make that relationship impossible to maintain. I was, nearly, suicidal.

    She showed up after twenty years one day at my house. I remember this rush of emotion when I saw her again. I could tell she felt it too.

    My wife was different but has become so deep. We are soulmates. It started with sex, then friendship, respect and partnership. It wasn't fireworks until we had been married for years and I could allow myself to fall in love again. My crisis three years ago almost, again, destroyed this.

    This bisexual thing can be so Fxxked.

    I've had a chance to love two people in totally different ways. That's why these questions of what love is are so hard to answer. There are lots of ways to love and none are better than others.
     
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  19. SevnButton

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    I love my wife in a comfortable way, not the fully-immersed way. I've tried to find those love rushes, but they're just not there. I've asked myself: is it because the love rushes are a once-in-a-lifetime thing hard-wired into me to seal a permanent commitment, and now I've missed my chance? Is it because it was so excruciatingly painful to lose that relationship that I can't risk ever going that deep again? or are there just too many incompatibilities between my wife and me? Maybe all of the above? I'm sad. I want that feeling again.
     
  20. Rade

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    but

    Perhaps you can rekindle your love with your wife?
    After I came out and after a couple months our sex life improved for a few months but sex is not really love.
    I'm sure there's hope and a future for all of us. We have to be positive...
    Rade