Depression Made Me Think I Was Homosexual.

What prompted the thought that you were gay in the first place, then?

 

^ Agreed, I have trouble seeing that. Explain? Perhaps after the tragedy you simply didn't feel any attraction/arousal to girls anymore, so you assumed you were attracted to guys instead?

There are plenty of people who simply aren't attracted sexually to either gender, of course. I guess its good to note that NOT being attracted to the opposite gender isnt always the same as being attracted to your own.

 

I went into denial and I "hated myself" when I realized I was gay but I got over it, and i've never heard of depression makes you gay, I've experince depression because i'm gay but not vice versa

 

Well this its certainly an odd post. I am curious as to the motivation for said post.

Applying Occam's razor come two possible conclusion

1. The OP is in the closet and reaching out for help.
2. We are being trolled.

 

I've run across all sorts of responses to being in depression. Fascination with death, becoming nearly catatonic, becoming really promiscuous, and so forth. That said, I have yet to come across somebody who believed they were straight before the depression, felt they were gay during the depression, and then realized they were straight again afterwards. The closest thing I've come across is a straight guy who felt so down on himself that he felt he may as well be gay (since he wasn't a fan of gays), but he didn't follow that through to actually BEING gay. He just would "negatively fantasize" about having (what he considered) degrading sex with guys, then telling people about it so they'd hate him more. But that doesn't seem to be the same thing.

I guess I'd second the questions above. What was it that suggested to you that you were gay? Because that whole "being attracted to the same gender" thing is sort of the only qualification.

Lex

 

I've had three major depressive episodes. The first time I had wanker malfunction with a new girl, reassessed all prior evidence and came to the conclusion (acceptance) I was gay. Then I got another girlfriend and said the prior issues were from the depression. Fast forward three years, same thing happens, assume that I am gay, and go into a depression. Girl moves back, issues resolve, and all is gravy (denial). Five years later, where I am currently, wanker malfunction, depression, acceptance/denial/acceptance/denial. Also run the gamut of thinking social anxiety/ocd/add. I think I am now the closest to really accepting however am still sleeping with girls and am yet to explore same sex relations. My self analysis is likely bisexual with a tendency towards men, which shows as gay when times are hard and I have a low sex drive. Since I am usually happy, I've been able to solely act on the small attraction I do have to women and live a heterosexual lifestyle. Each of the prior incidents looking back I was able to convince myself depression struck first and the homophobia was secondary. I can say I've never had an erection towards a man, although the blow job scenes in straight videos are my favorite. That's another defense mechanism, because it's a straight video, "it don't mean a thing".

Sorry for the lengthy post. I know your situation is completely different, however that is how I have attributed homosexuality to depression in the past. Even my therapist didn't believe me when I said I might be gay.

 

I have heard that people with OCD can worry about being gay when they aren't, I'm sure I read that somewhere on the net before. Sure enough if you google "gay ocd" there's some stuff about it. I presume this is what happened to the original poster. I'm not sure about the depression link, thats a new one, then again I'm not an expert.

Hey, I'll take the story at face value. I'm glad you realized what your orientation is, its crappy being confused and worried about it. It is interesting and although I'm gay I've a friend who told me he went through a phase in adolescence where he felt "confused" before realising he was straight. So I think its probably more common than you'd think. You probably won't find many people willing to admit it though! (if they're straight that is). Thanks for sharing, all the best

 

First off, I'd like to say, my condolences to you and your family about your mother

Second, It took me by surprise as I read the thread title as I did not expect that sort of turn of events, I can understand social anxiety, etc, but never homosexuality, I wonder why you felt this way. But I'm glad you have over-came your confusion, and found out you are indeed heterosexual, as it would have been a lot harder for you if you were homosexual (I should know!)

 

Maybe you're bi? Do you think you had a testosterone/estrogen fluctuation that made you feel much more feminine and submissive to men?

You need to explain more.

 

You know what, I'll give him the benefit of the doubt.

As an OCD sufferer, all it took to trigger six months of me thinking I had a brain tumor was one night of noticing my astigmatism when driving home. Then came the dizziness. Then came the vomiting. I dragged my ass for a while before finally going to the doctor's and having it ruled out with a five-minute fundoscopy. It all ended as quickly as it started. Obsessive anxiety really makes you believe in some goofy stuff, sometimes as quickly as a thunderclap over the smallest thing.

My astigmatism was merely his random boner. It happens. Doesn't mean he's gay anymore than I had a brain tumor.

We live in a homophobic society. I don't think that's ever going to change. One of the side effects of living in a world like this is that straight people begin to invest considerable amounts of time into ensuring that every last thought of theirs never makes it through the "gay filter." Although HOCD may not be a bona fide DSM-IV diagnosis, it's still something worth examining when considering the collateral damage homophobia exacts on our straight brethren.

 

I'm with Zontar on this one.

If someone does have issues with OCD, and they do have negative views on what it would like to be gay, why is it so out there for someone to develop a fear or obsession with becoming gay. Its not something that I would think would be very common, but I think its possible.

That being said, I am a firm believer that most people are to at least some degree bisexual. Its also highly possible you really did have a slight attraction to men that led you to begin questioning your sexuality, but after the depression faded, you realized you are primarily attracted to women. However, I have not hear one word of you feeling attracted to men. Did your friend cause your erection, or was it merely coincidence?

 

I know exactly where you are coming from, as someone who has suffered through Bipolar Depression ( the doctors even wanted to hospitalize me, but I refused ), I know how it can play tricks on your mind and make you think things.

I honestly wanted to die. I felt that no one loved me, and that no one would miss me if I died. Back then, I was in denial even to myself. Every time I saw a woman I thought was cute, I would force the thought away, I pretended to like men, and told myself I had to. Unfortunately this worsened my depression and caused me to hate myself more.

Now that I am better - though I do still get fits every now and again if something triggers me - I realize that that was a stupid thought, very stupid.

I guess instead of wanting to die, your brain made you think you were Gay, and now that your better ( hopefully ) you know that your not?

Well, I hope you are better, if not, get well soon, and may your mother Rest In Peace. You and your family will be in my thoughts tonight.

 

Well I personally think you are straight bro. If you say girls turn you on and guys don't then you are straight. Depression could throw ur life into chaos especially a death. When my grandma died my homosexuality surfaced, but the diff between me and you is that I was attracted to guys. Also anti-depressants make you numb to everything, so if you want to forget about you maybe being gay then i would stay on them. It worked for me for 4 years ... until I stopped taking them.