hey all! just wondering if anyone had any insight on how i would be able to determine whether my feelings about girls are denial or if i truly am not interested. the idea of cuddling with or kissing girls is not particularly appealing to me. i don't fantasize about it. when i try to force myself to think about it, i get anxious and i have difficulty picturing it, almost like there is an obstacle in my brain that is preventing me from thinking about it. could it be denial of my attraction to women that is causing this obstacle? the only reason i questioned my sexuality in the first place was because i used to get turned on by the female naked body when i was younger, and the male naked body has never done that for me. despite this, i have only ever crushed on and fantasized about guys in the past. (there are a couple instances that MAY have been crushes on girls, i'm really not sure, but there were definitely no fantasies attached. they may have just been admiration/wanting to be their friend.) at the current moment, honestly, the only person i fantasize about is my boyfriend. i love him so much, i have no interest in fantasizing about anyone else, male or female. maybe that's relevant? sorry, this is a bit rambly. all insight is appreciated!
It could be possible that your boyfriend is one reason you feel this way. I don't know about other people, but when I was in a relationship I found it difficult to think of myself doing anything with anyone else who wasn't him. But then again if you've been feeling this way before you started dating then it's most likely something else at play here. You said you've thought about cuddling/kissing girls and how it doesn't appeal to you. Was there a time when that did seem appealing? Does the female body still turn you on? If the answer to both of those are no then you might just not be interested. But hey, who knows, it might be something else (or multiple things) which are causing you to feel this way
I used to have the same issue as you. I still kind of do. I've been turned on by guys before, but I don't actually want to do stuff with men. Maybe I am attracted to guys, maybe I'm not. All that matters is that I want to be with girls and I don't want to be with guys. Maybe you should think that way as well. You're happy with your boyfriend and you don't find the idea of being with a girl appealing. I think that's the important part. It doesn't matter if you're attracted to girls or not.
