So, this is the final week of my marriage. My wife is due to leave town on Dec. 27. She'll take my baby daughter with her. I've already personally come out to the one I wanted to - that includes all my sisters, both my parents and my closest friends. The way my friends reacted couldn't have been better. My family, not so much. So now there's this MASSIVE pressure for me to make my marriage work...my parents (obviously without my knowledge or consent) "decided" that I'll not divorce and I'll keep being the loving and faithful husband I've always been. Of course it doesn't change things, but it adds an overwhelming pressure. And people from church, even without knowing what's going on in my life, keep telling that I have to make a greater effort so God can change me. One of my sisters told me that I'm allowing Satan to "normalise" homosexuality in my mind that's why it feels okay now. But I shouldn't let him "legalise" his things in my soul and mind. My brother-in-law told me that I'm abandoning my daughter just like dad did to me when I was six...it makes me feel like I'm a coward. He told me I'm giving up on my family just so I can live a life of pleasures and desire. Incredibly one person who's supporting me is my wife's father. He told me to rest assured that my girls would be taken care of. He also told me there was no one to blame in that story, since I didn't do that on purpose. Still...life is such a burden now... I'm weak, I'm a coward...all I wanna do is lay down on my bed and stay there all day. I don't wanna eat. I'm avoiding people. I'm such a chicken that I'm not even helping with packing...my wife, soon to be ex, is holding on together. And I'M THE ONE who hurt her. Who shattered her heart. I'm such a selfish monster! I wish I could just vanish. Just die. Then I'd no longer exist and people would be able to move on without remembering that taint in their lives I became.