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Dealing with anxiety and difficulty letting go of negative thoughts.

Discussion in 'General Support and Advice' started by Samsonitis1, Jul 3, 2018.

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  1. Samsonitis1

    Samsonitis1
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    Hey there.

    My road to self acceptance has been a long, arduous slog. I am now at the stage of being accepting of myself, loving myself for who I am and wanting to share my life with another.

    I want to start dating, and I have been messaging someone who would like to get a cup of coffee with me.

    My problem is that I keep encountering these negative thoughts that are preventing me from pulling the plug and setting a date. I keep picturing worst case scenarios that I can only put down to not having experience in the dating realm and being afraid of things spiralling beyond my control.

    I don't want fear to dictate my life any longer, I spent too long being afraid of being who I am and how others would treat me. I just can't seem to shake it.

    I would greatly appreciate if somebody who's been in my position could give me guidance. I know it's probably ridiculous that I am even bringing this up, I know it's just a cup of coffee and not a marriage proposal. But I feel stuck.
     
    #1 Samsonitis1, Jul 3, 2018
  2. Jax12

    Jax12
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    What I’ve found recently is that the worst case scenario doesn’t always happen, and if it does, the situation that we fear isn’t as bad as we thought when it does happen.

    My recommendation is to try and live in the moment, and this is where mediation and deep breathing will help. With this in mind, you’ll be able to focus on what’s happening right in front of you, right now, and you’ll learn to trust yourself in terms of your reactions during those situations. It’s trial and error though, so be kind to yourself when things don’t turn out the way you want it to.

    And most important of all, have fun! A date doesn’t necessarily guarantee a second one, but you don’t know what till you get through your first date.

    Cheers!
     
    #2 Jax12, Jul 4, 2018
  3. quebec

    quebec
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    Samsonitis1.....Hello and welcome to empty closets! What you're feeling is not very unusual. That first meeting...not even a date...can be awkward for even the most confident person. So, feel at ease, you are right there with everyone else! Do you know anything about this person, something that you might have in common to talk about? Or just sit down and think of what you would like someone to ask you the first time you get together. Doing things like that help you keep busy "planning" for the meeting rather then just sitting around being nervous about it. It will workout...set the date and go for it!
    .....David :gay_pride_flag:
     
    #3 quebec, Jul 8, 2018
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