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Dating advice?

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by Leah061, Mar 15, 2019.

  1. Leah061

    Regular Member

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    So I recently went on a date with this girl I met on a dating app. The date itself was pretty good overall, even though I went to the wrong bar at first and showed up to the real bar half an hour late, she was so nice about it and pretty understanding. Sometimes I'm hesitant about meeting girls from these apps, for a lot of reasons. As one of my old threads can attest to, my first time meeting up with a girl from an app ended up being a pretty dangerous situation. But I've also seen a lot of straight girls/girls who are just looking for a third for them and their boyfriend on these apps, and I don't want to get caught up in that.

    So I felt really reassured when while we were talking, she started talking about the lesbian scene in our city and how it feels like all the gay bars are catered toward gay men, even in the part of our city where lesbians hang out. It's just that she was so pretty and femme that there was a part of me that thought she might be another straight girl on these apps who are just looking for friends or a unicorn. I finally felt like I could relax after we ranted a bit about the lack of lesbian spaces in our huge city.

    We talked about a lot of things and she told me a bit about her cats (I know, such a lesbian first date kind of topic lol) and how her roommate, Drew, recently adopted a kitten. She didn't say anything else about who Drew was, just that he was her roommate. So when I got home, I looked her up on Facebook (as one does) and I saw that she was "in a relationship" with a guy named Drew.

    I figure this means one of two things. Either it's entirely a coincidence that her roommate Drew and her boyfriend Drew share the same name, and are really two separate people, or they are in fact, the same person, and she lied to me about who Drew was to her, because all she told me was that he was just her roommate. In either case, she purposely forgot to mention to me that she has a boyfriend. It could mean that she has an open relationship with him, which would be fine, but I don't know why she would try to keep that from me. Or they could be looking for a third, but again, if that was the case, why would she neglect to mention that?

    On our date, I told her I knew of a lesbian wine bar, and she told me she'd be interested in going with me sometime, so we have another date planned for next week. I'm definitely planning on asking her, as casually as possible, if she's seeing anyone else, and decide what to do based on what she says then.

    Am I crazy? It just feels so weird to me that she wouldn't tell me she has a long term, serious boyfriend on our date, and I can't help but wonder what that means.
     
  2. Linning

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    I would definitely ask her but is there a possibility that the "in a relationship with Drew" is all a bit of banter? I know a few people who are FB married to their best friend or whatever as some kind of inside joke.
     
  3. Leah061

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    I suppose that's possible, but I definitely got the vibe from her profile and his that they've been in a somewhat serious relationship for a long time. I guess I'll just have to ask her to find out for sure.