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Cute guy in my class

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by Humbly Me, Aug 19, 2017.

  1. Humbly Me

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    Well, there was a cute guy in my last block class who came over and talked to me after we finished our work. I don't really know him but I made eye contact while he was giving his friend a massage and I'm not really sure what I should think. My heart screams at me that he obviously must think I'm cute or he wouldn't drop hanging out with his friend and come talk to me, but my brain says it can't be that simple... Like he could totally have just thought I was lonely or something and come over to say hi... I don't know if he is into guys or much about him at all but by his muscular structure (you could see it even though his loose shirt, his shoulders are very muscular) and topic of interest he is probably a football or soccer player player, definitely sophmore year and I would say he is 15, not 16 but that is hardly even relevant. We talked a little bit, and he seemed very interested in me, not taking his eyes off me the entire time and always wanting to guess things about me (he wasn't bad at it) but it was only for 5 minutes so not long enough to get seriously bored anyways (I had to leave soon after school ended). Now I kinda have a crush on him even though we have barely spoken and I'm kind of nervous for Monday. What do I say if he comes and talks to me, and what do I do if he doesn't seem interested anymore and doesn't speak to me for like 2 weeks??? I'm so nervous to approach him because I don't want him to think I'm strange and I kind of want to get it in the open if he likes me or not.
     
  2. Maddox232003

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    Well my advice would be keep talking. Grt to know him better. I did that too on my best friend, which i just got like a few months ago... still lots of insecurities with him so i am still trying to hangout or talk to him as much as possible and i suggest you to do the same. Get to know him better first and talk about interests and stuff. And if you can, during weekends or sth like that try to ask him out for maybe a drink or some other like football?
     
  3. Quantumreality

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    Hey Myclosetisfull,

    What is making you so anxious about this? Is it the fact that you are starting to have a crush on him? Keep in mind that he doesn't know that. Only you do. Why not just start out by trying to make friends with him as you would with any other friend? If he comes and talks to you, ask him questions to find areas of common interest between the two of you. Ask him questions that you are curious about - you indicated that he might play football or soccer, so ask him. If he doesn't come and talk to you, but you really would like to make friends with him, take the initiative to talk to him this time. After all it would only be polite. If he made the effort the first time, it would only be normal for you to follow-up if you are really interested in being his friend.

    I wouldn't worry about any romantic possibilities with him until later. For now, you could just try to make a new friend.

    I hope things work out for you!

    My thoughts.:slight_smile:
     
    #3 Quantumreality, Aug 20, 2017
    Last edited: Aug 20, 2017
  4. Humbly Me

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    The nervousness is probably not even related to him, it's probably more related to what I'm going to do if he does like me... I will have to work on coming out to my family...

    I don't really like watching sports games, or really most team sports, but I'll try and find something that I can invite him to if it works out.
     
    #4 Humbly Me, Aug 20, 2017
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  5. Quantumreality

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    Well, dude, I'd say that you shouldn't get out ahead of yourself. You don't even know if the two of you might become good platonic friends yet, let alone if he might even be a BF prospect for you. Maybe just try to focus, like I said, on making a new friend first. In the longrun,even if you are sure enough that you have romantic feelings and he turns out to be gay or bi, there is no guarantee that he will be attracted to you in the same way and want to even consider being more than just a friend.

    I'm not trying to be a party-pooper for you, just a realist. I recommend that you start out focusing on the nearest goal (getting to know him much better and determining if the two of you are compatible friends) before you even start considering possible long-term goals.

    My 2cents.
     
  6. Humbly Me

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    Pretty much, yeah, shouldn't be thinking so far ahead for potential possibilities.
     
  7. Quantumreality

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    The danger here is that if you allow yourself to become emotionally invested in him prematurely, you are very likely to end up getting hurt feelings in the longrun, regardless of whether or not it turns out that the two of you can become good, platonic friends.

    Just saying...
     
  8. Maddox232003

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    Like what "Quamtumreality" said. Try to be best friend and thats what i would recommend as well... you will see how things turn out in near future. Just be patient. Patient is the key.
     
  9. Humbly Me

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    Patience requires waiting... Anyways, I'll see if it works out when it does or does not work out and not a second sooner so I'm going to just have to wait and try and enjoy the time inbetween.

    After psychological evaluation myself, I really don't think the actual problem is this, it is more that I'm currently very anxious because I harbor extremely deep resentment and sorrow towards how hetero-normative and discouraging my family is. They will probably be angry at me my entire life for lying to them so much even if I do come out (they always drag on and on about how awful it is that I lie to them or redirect questions when they insert themselves into my private life... And they say lying is "unforgivable"). It hurts a lot more than I admit to myself most of the time, and I still have yet to be able to convince them to give me a therapist after dropping them a list on their desks...
     
    #9 Humbly Me, Aug 21, 2017
    Last edited by a moderator: Aug 21, 2017
    Maddox232003 likes this.
  10. Maddox232003

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    Best of luck! Hopefully you success! And i have got to work on mine's too...