1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

Crushing on a friend

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by jj2047, Jul 11, 2018 at 9:49 AM.

  1. jj2047

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Nov 15, 2017
    Messages:
    1
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    United States
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Other
    Out Status:
    A few people
    Hey guys this is my first time posting here! Hope you are all doing well.

    As you know from the title, you already know what going to talk about. Okay so, let’s start from the beginning. I have a female friend who we can call by “M”. Me and M have been friends for about 5 years now, and we met in high school. We currently go to the same college, and I’ve been crushing on her for about 3 years now since senior year of high school. We see each other here and there at school and manage to see each other face to face at least once a week and catch up with each other. We would talk about everything and anything, and sometimes we would get lost in the moment and talk for hours. She would always tell me jokes to make me laugh and I really enjoy her company because I’ve never felt so connected and understood with anyone before. I feel like we have a strong connection with each other, and sometimes I wonder if she feels the same way. I’m tired of the ambiguity between us. Whenever we hangout I get the feeling or vibe that she likes me too because sometimes, she tries to hint stuff by indirect ways and she gets touchy feely with me and I feel like she's trying to flirt with me too. I came out to her, along with our group of friends last year, so she knows I’m into girls. After I came out to her, I felt much closer to her and our friendship because I let that part of me known to her, and we gotten closer because of that. I thought that things were going to be different between us or she would try to avoid me, but to my surprise, everything remained the same between us. There are times where I wish we could be more than friends because she makes me feel so happy and less alone. There are at times, where I wish I could just tell her, but then I think of all the things that could happen. I think what I mostly want out of confessing to her is to get to the truth and stop all the “What-if” thoughts and maybe it’ll help me move forward. I think what’s holding me back from confessing to her is the risk losing our friendship or making things awkward between us and having this news reach our mutual friends, which would make it awkward for everyone. I’m tired of keeping this a secret and burying my feelings for her. It’s hard for me to move forward because I’m still stuck with the “What-if” thoughts, and I don’t want to live my life with regrets or missing a special connection even if we don't end being together. I just want to be honest with her and see where our friendship goes from here.

    Anways, thank you for reading my overly long dramatic post! I know it’s hard to judge from my situation; however, any advice given would be helpful and/or let me know if you had a similar experience and how you handled it.
     
  2. Biguy45

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Nov 5, 2017
    Messages:
    840
    Likes Received:
    266
    Location:
    United states
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Not out at all
    For what it’s worth. I think you should tell her. She already knows you like girls. That’s half the battle. I’ve had a couple of crushes on guy friends over the years , but I’m in the closet so telling them wouldn’t be an option for me