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Counselor?

Discussion in 'Gender Identity and Expression' started by hii, Apr 16, 2014.

  1. hii

    hii
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    I really want someone to talk to about my gender identity issues but I'm not in high school yet so there's no school counselor and I haven't told my parents that I'm trans. Is it possible to find some kind of counselor?

    I've got some other reasons to want to go too: I've been having difficulty concentrating in school and have gotten behind on schoolwork. I'm also antisocial and a lot of things in life I'm finding rather pointless. :confused: :help:
     
  2. BookDragon

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    Well they exist basically everywhere but it'd be something you would most likely have to pay for...and unless you think you can get your parents on board to shell out the cash to try and fix the few problems you CAN tell them about you might be out of luck...
     
  3. hii

    hii
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    Just searched it up. Wow, it IS expensive. Ughh.
     
  4. FtMart

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    Hi. Id suggest starting with telling your parents your questioning your gender and to say you want to talk to someone first to sort of ease them into your transiton. Look for a local therapist in your area that deals with LGBT issues and try seeing what you can and cant do. Also tell them the other reasons ou want to go. Choose your word choice based on your parents. Other than that, dont hold back anything with a therapist and if you arent getting anywhere with them then switch therapists until you have one that listens to you. Id suggest going to a gender therapist specifically for your gender identity. I hope that helps.
    Your friend, Justin
    P.S. kudoes to you for realising your gender identity at that young of an age. Took me until I was 16 to realise mine.
     
  5. hii

    hii
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    Maybe I should tell them, but a good question is "how?" Should I just say that I'm questioning my gender? They both have probably never heard of it and my dad's religious and my mom's a psychologist but also very judgmental of people.

    They probably won't believe there's such a thing and I can't help thinking "what if I end up being fine being a girl after all?" Plus, I've only known for a couple weeks and although being trans really seems to resonate with me, I'll never be able to take telling them back.
     
  6. BookDragon

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    Then might I suggest before you tell them, you spend a little longer trying to figure it out :slight_smile:

    I know it's difficult, but let's be honest, I don't think there is a lot of people who would take "I've known for like 3 weeks" as an answer to their worries...
     
  7. hii

    hii
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    But I have gotten it figured out, and I'm kind of desperate for people to treat me like a guy. I've never been happy as a girl... and although I've known I'm trans for a few weeks, I've been questioning it for a few months, and have felt like something was off for more than a few years.

    I post a lot of threads on EC because I can be myself, and I just really want to be that in the real world as well... I know a lot of people are fine taking years to come out, even never coming out, but I can't stand it.
     
  8. FtMart

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    Why dont you have friends at school use male pronouns and a chosen name to see how you feel about being seen as a guy and if thats what makes you happy then try telling your folks once your positive this is for you and that your one hundred percent sure that this life style is for you. There is no one way to tell your parents. Drop hints on the subject to them like asking them about hiw they feel about Chaz Bono's transition and give them resources when you tell them to help them.
     
  9. Miiaaaaa

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    You're in Canada, is it not free for you? :slight_smile:
     
  10. looking for me

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    hey Hii

    try calling the kids help line, it's free and annynomous. also google gender mosiac and look for supports for lgbt in ontario. your local pflag group may be able to give direction as well, hope this helps.
     
  11. WillowRose

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    One other thought is that, since you are able to identify other issues that you'd also like to work on, you could tell your parents about those and tell them that you'd really like to have some professional help to work through those issues. Any reasonably well-trained counselor should be able either to help you work on gender issues as well, or can provide a referral to someone who can.

    And the best part is that (unless you threaten to harm yourself or others) whatever you talk about with a professional is confidential. They can't tell your parents anything without your permission. So you could very likely do some good work on your gender identity, without having to bring it up at home until you are good and ready.
     
  12. hii

    hii
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    Thanks for the replies, guys! They did help a bit.

    I have tried that (although I only have one friend since I'm so antisocial :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes:). It was odd the first couple times but it was surprisingly easy to adjust to. It feels fine, good even.

    I wonder if my mom would just try to help me on her own since she's a psychologist, though. I've mentioned my problems at school to her and she's already said that I could take Ritalin if I wanted (lol). And when I was depressed a couple years ago I'm pretty sure I asked if I could talk to someone but it never happened.
     
  13. looking for me

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    i don't think your mom should treat you, could be a case of not seeing the whole picture since she is too close to you. and i hope she would realize that and recommend a qualified counselor.