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Couldn't tell therapist I'm gay today.

Discussion in 'LGBT Later in Life' started by Rose27, Mar 6, 2013.

  1. Rose27

    Rose27 Guest

    Out to husband friends parents sibling but just did not want to tell therapist today that I'm gay. surprised myself. Did tell her that made the decision to leave husband.
     
  2. skiff

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    You will. It is simply a matter of time. What was the roadblock?
     
  3. Rose27

    Rose27 Guest

    "What was the roadblock?" I'm not sure. Maybe a little overloaded today. Think scared of talking about how my life is going to be trashed soon even though I have lots of support.
     
  4. Parsley

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    It's okay. You don't have to do everything all at once. It's not a mad race to see how quickly you can tell everyone. You need to move at a pace you're comfortable with.

    I couldn't manage to say "I'm gay" in a mirror to myself until a full month after I came out to my first friend. It was a block. I couldn't do it. For a month I couldn't do it. I tried. Then one day I got it out. It was hard, but I did it.

    So if you want to tell your therapist try again. If it doesn't work try again. Just don't get frustrated with yourself if it takes you a little while to get it out. That's okay.
     
  5. skiff

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    Trashed or changed? Trashed or redirected to happiness? Trashed or made honest?

    I soon will be doing the same as you. It is critical I mitigate my wife's pain. I will take help in the process wherever I can find it.

    Telling my therapist was the first thing I did when I booked the appointment with her. Can you circumvent your roadblock by leaving your therapist a telephone message?
     
  6. Rose27

    Rose27 Guest

    I think I will next time. I so feel very guilty about hurting my husband so much. Even in his own pain he is worried about me. I do love him very much but as my best friend.
     
  7. PeteNJ

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    What works for me is to do something which commits me to action. For instance send an email to your therapist that you want to talk about your sexuality. Or even journal about it - -that next week you WILL come out to him/her.

    All of gay folk are totally f***ing overthinkers. Its our strength, its out weakness. ;-)

    Be who you really are with your therapist -- it'll be amazing!
     
  8. Mango

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    It's very important to feel totally relaxed with your therapist. Of course, it also helps to have an awesome therapist too!
     
  9. Kay

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    Fen there is always next week or the week after. Telling your therapist you are leaving your husband is a good thing love. It is a step in the correct direction. Hugs and love.
     
  10. Biotech49

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    I came out to my therapist about a month after I came out to family and friends. It was the best session I have ever had in the eight months I had been going to her. I see her for probably the last time on Monday. Having fought depression for SO long, I finally released the very thing that was holding me back and I am truly happy. Still new to this happiness thing but I think I will be okay. It kind of helps that she too, is a lesbian (I figured that out after seeing a picture of her girlfriend on her desk awhile back). Try saying something. It will probably help. That is what they are there for.
     
  11. Rose27

    Rose27 Guest

    Think I'm going to tell her next week. Think she will ask about my marriage which I mentioned at end of last appt.Don't think I can avoid it. Thanks for your support.
     
  12. MapleCross

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    Please do have the courage to tell her in the end you will feel so much better being able to talk about it. Good luck
     
  13. Linguistic_Geek

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    I haven't told any of mine either. And I've been seeing someone for about 12 years. I had other issues that had to be dealt with first. But maybe one day.....
     
  14. Rose27

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    Going to do it next appt. It's 2words of truth for me. I'm gay.
     
  15. Biotech49

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    Awesome Fen! Good luck!
     
  16. PianoNate

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    Good Luck!!
     
  17. Rose27

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    I did it! Feeling LIGHTER AND HAPPY.
     
  18. AmplifiedHeart

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    My therapist is a Lesbian. She hasn't said it directly, but I inadvertaintly found out. I've known for quite some time (pretty much since I started seeing her about a year ago) There have been numerous occasions where I wanted to tell her I was Bi, but something was holding me back. I couldn't figure out what it was - she's only a little older than I am (few years) and she completely rocks. A few weeks ago, I finally decided it was time to tell her. I started by saying "There is something that I think you should know about me..." and then I choked....completely froze. She sat there smiling, waiting for me to say something...and finally I spit it out. She smiled and said "I know". I was like Whhhaat? HOW? She said "I've been pretty sure for a while now, it was in some things you said."

    So, yea...I really didn't need to freak out the way I did. I feel a million and one times better now that I did it though.
     
  19. Oregontinker

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    Good job. When I was looking for a therapist I intentionally picked a gay man. It is great because on a lot of issues he truly understands what I am talking about. Anyway it will help your therapist help you by being open and honest.