This area of the forum is where most of my questions sum up, any thoughts on the matter would greatly be appreciated. I've been in a few relationships, even got engaged once, but all ended up for no particular reason. None of them had drama or anything like that, I even kept friendships that either faded in time or became really strong, but something just wasn't right as "lovers" and everything was perfect as "friends". Finding myself so many times being in love only with "the way she thinks and acts" made me wonder what's "wrong" with me. I have always told myself I am just not into "making love" that much, maybe for me it's more of an intellectual thing... but that never explained why my imagination goes wild when I see some men on the street or around me. Growing up in an ex-communist country might have had an impact over me, making me follow what other people perceived as "normal". Mentality has changed a lot since I was young, but I am still scared to explore this part of me and I cannot find why. Trying it, so I can at least know something for sure, passed my mind so many times, but how could I do that not being out? How would I ever find somebody? The irony is that I could never try something without feelings involved, I could never do it just to "test the water", I am not wired like that (I don't judge people that do it). I know it's no "test" or "process" i can follow to determine if I am or not, just looking for some thoughts on how you guys/girls realized it, the thinking process behind it or any advice on how I can address this.