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Corrupt A Wish

Discussion in 'Fun and Games' started by CelebrityHead, Nov 4, 2007.

  1. TheodoreAC

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    If I could break the laws of physics too I would totally fly with you but sadly I'm not,
    Instead, in this alternate universe, I'm a narcoleptic anorexic flat-chested guy who scares dogs and is too tall to support his own body. Said body with eyes instead of acne and teeth randomly growing out of every part of my body that clean themselves who has a boyfriend who makes me depressed when I see him with my hundreds of eyes that happen to be covered by my glasses that make me sandman and then I get killed by my own bed which has become sentient.
    So your wish is totally granted, but you sacrificed your swimming skills for your tree skills, now you can only function in those trees and in the air by defying physics.
    Sorry bud, but you made my bed kill me before I could finish my giant cheez-it and I need to have my revenge.

    I wish I had a top hat.
     
  2. La Corbeau

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    ...dear god. I guess in this universe I'm a barely sentient person who can never leave the forest (which sucks because the trees in this world are stuck in an eternally pollinating state), but that's okay because I can't leave the treetops either. Unless I fly. I can do that. At least I have air conditioning, but it blasts the State Farm theme 24/7. I would drown it out with my masterful viola playing, but that's outlawed so I guess I'll go crazy. I can't even stand up without tripping so I mostly fly everywhere. I can't even get on this site because I broke my stupid ruler-thin computer. Also, my tongue is dead so I can't really speak. My only company is Luci the anti-christ cat, Geoff my scary dragon friend, my invisible snake hair (which is a wig I guess the snakes are hallucinations brought on by my anxiety, and sometimes crickets. I remember everything, but nobody knows my name (man I'm shaping up to be a forest cryptid). I can control time, but I have no sense of time so the world's general timeline is just messed up on a regular basis. The world is simultaneously 150 degrees and an ice age, which makes sense because this year's pride parade is at the south pole. Capitalism destroyed everything with inflation but I have a ton of money so it doesn't really matter to me. All my friends hate my and whoops I am a forest cryptid because I live life in a primal state, only using grunts to communicate. I can literally manifest anything with only the power of my creativity, but our world is wiped out by a meteor so none of THIS *gestures upward wildly* really matters.

    So, yes. You get your top hat. A cute little top hat. There's a carnivorous rabbit inside, though. His name is Dwight.

    I wish I was at the beach.
     
  3. TheodoreAC

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    Ha! You thought this would stop me! I've been wanting a pet! Since my bed ate me, I'm now a ghost and I can't be eaten again! >:^)
    well, unless we're preforming necromancy, but I don't think Luci the cat would appreciate that.
    Granted, but, you flop across the sand like a fish out of water, and you do the same in the ocean but it looks even funnier then, because well, you're a fish out of water in the water. >:3c (it's the emoticon version of the cat knife meme)
    I wish I had a an orange
     
  4. La Corbeau

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    Ok the mental image of myself just flopping along the shore is too funny. Are you going to name your rabbit?
    Granted, it looks like an orange, but when you peel it it's a lemon inside!

    I wish I could waterbend.
     
  5. TheodoreAC

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    thanks bud <3 Hmmmm...
    I can't think of a perfect name,
    Joke name? or Fancy name?
    These are the real questions people!
    Dwayne "The Rabbit" Johnson? Or Tsuki, for the moon/rabbit classic.

    Granted but you can only bend warm water/warm liquids so no ice for you pal.

    I wish I had an idea what to wish for.
     
  6. Phoenix92

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    Granted, but this wish comes to you in an unexpected form and is only tangentially associated with what you were wanting.

    I wish the DMV was open for walk-ins, especially with what I’m going to on Thursday fill out with my therapist.
     
  7. La Corbeau

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    Granted, but the DMV people are even more unhelpful than usual, actively trying to stop you from what you need to do. The situation escalates until you are kidnapped by them. There are so many forms to sign. You can never leave.

    (oh and @TheodoreAC I vote Tsuki for the rabbit)

    I wish I was a funnier person.
     
  8. TheodoreAC

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    (how can I grant that, you're already so good at making jokes???)
    Granted but it's illegal for anyone to laugh at your jokes,
    (Tsuki it is!)
    I wish I was taller
     
  9. solarcat

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    Granted, but everything you want is now on the bottom shelf.


    I wish I could go to bed on time
     
  10. TheodoreAC

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    Granted but you never wake up on time.

    I wish I had a bagel
     
  11. solarcat

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    Granted, but the slices aren't remotely equal thicknesses.

    I wish my cat would just let me brush him; he's shedding all over the place.
     
  12. Nightlight

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    Granted but your cat will shed even more the more you brush.

    I wish I could just make up my mind on a satisfying career path already
     
  13. Phoenix92

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    Granted, but you select a career path that leads you down a path of depression.

    I wish I could get a decent nights sleep, not waking up between 0200-0430 most mornings, I don’t much care if I have weird dreams or no dreams at all.
     
  14. JasmineP14

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    Granted but you go to bed at 9:00pm and wake up at 7:00am.

    I wish ITV would bring back regional identities.
     
  15. Nightlight

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    Granted, but it turns out to be boring.

    I'm already at a path of depression, nice try.

    I wish air pollution in my city would go away.
     
  16. JasmineP14

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    Granted but the sun's too bright now.

    I wish I could do animation for a professional company.
     
  17. BothWaysSecret

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    Granted, but its animated porn for a porn company

    I wish this pandemic was over and I could have my real job back
     
  18. solarcat

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    Granted, but your customers/ clients/ patients (I don't know what you do) have gotten somehow even dumber...

    I wish my belly was a bit flatter
     
  19. La Corbeau

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    Granted, but it's not just a bit... your stomach is two-dimensional now. Good luck, like, digesting food and stuff.

    I wish I wasn't so short.
     
  20. JasmineP14

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    Granted, but only you get a giraffe neck and nothing else grows.

    I wish Trump was impeached.