Corrupt A Wish

Granted, but she never tells you, or even hints you how she feel
I need this on my desk



https://images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com/images/I/41CFAJlclCL._SX425_.jpg

 

Granted, but it’s defective.

I wish that my intake at the Cancer Center next Tuesday goes well

 

Granted but everyone is cosplaying and everyone is confused why you aren't.
I wish I could control myself when I eat, like almost every time I'll over eat and end up burp vomiting and it feels so bad.

 

Granted, instead of overeating yourself to vomiting, you now undereat to the point of anorexia.


I wish that Herr Trump loses in the election

 

Granted but he throws a tantrum over losing and as his last act as president “accidentally” fires a nuclear bomb at dc while he’s “inspecting” the bunker.

I wish I wasn’t so anxious around my boyfriend.

 

Granted but now your boyfriend is anxious around you
(you've got to admit it, you walked right into that one)
I wish I had a girlfriend, (or maybe a boyfriend, that might be fun too)

 

Granted but you are really depressed around him and can't bring yourself to do stuff with him.

 

Oof,
@La Corbeau , it seems that you want nothing, so now I must give you everything

also, I wish I had a cup of hot cocoa

 

Agh I'm sorry I'm such a mess oof
The cocoa is hot, all right. Too hot. It melts the cup and burns through almost anything it touches, including you.

I wish the AC in my house actually worked.

 

I usually hold my cups with both hands sooo.... I didn't need my hands that much anyways.

Granted but whenever you use your AC it plays your local insurance's radio commercial, like the "we are farmers, bum bada bum bum ba!" y'know what I mean

I wish I had a flat chest.

 

Granted ur chest is now completely flat ! No surgery required. But like the fat from ur chest moved to ur stomach so now

I wish my job at giant was more interesting

 

Granted it's a life-or-death-type action movie. All your friends and family die as things blow up.

I wish I had a better memory.

 

Granted but your brain starts to overload from having to much memories and you develop did and anxiety.

I wish that I could be a lost boy in neverland. (Usually hanging out with Peter Pan)

 

Granted but you are quickly captured by Captain Hook and he was really less gory in all the movies and oh god he's got a gun everybody run

I wish my computer was less bulky.

 

Granted, it is now so slim that you are constantly worried that you'll bend it and subsequently break it.

I wish I wasn't such a perfectionist with my writing, it would definitely save me time.

 

Granted, you make tons of errors of all sorts in your writing, even forgetting characters names.

I wish I was a better swimmer.

 

Granted, but now your previous skill level at swimming is now your current skill level at walking without tripping.
Meaning, you trip over yourself. All. The. Time.

I wish I was better at sleeping. Like *crashes on bed* asleep.

 

Welp time to live on the ground then I literally can no longer stand up.
Granted, you can sleep anywhere, at anytime. And you do. You no longer have any control over where or when you sleep.

I wish I (and only I) could break laws without consequences.

 

Huh, I guess I'm a Narcoleptic now in this verse.
Granted, but it also applies to the laws of nature and it is very hard to un-break those.

I wish my bed would make it's self, (sorry, everyone, I'm revealing myself as the laziest person ever in this thread)

 

Ooh can I break laws of physics too? I wanna fly!
Granted your bed makes itself. Gradually it becomes self-aware and decides to kill you and escape, running off and having many surreal adventures and liberating beds across the world! We thought it would be technology that would become self-aware and take over, but it was beds.

I wish I was naturally good at climbing trees. I've never been good at climbing trees. Most people just yeet themselves up, but I stand alone at the bottom.