Corrupt A Wish

You forgot to make a wish, so I'll make one for you:
Maya wishes she didn't ever have to do chores again.

 

Granted, except she has do do 100 pushups every morning or be unable to walk properly.

 

People, we need to make wishes! This is a once in a lifetime opportunity!
Whatever, I wish for fresh maple syrup. I bet everyone saw that coming from a Canadian

 

Granted, but you have to fight a bear to get it.

I wish I was taller.

 

Granted... but you are fifteen foot high by fifteen foot wide. Tallest, fattest man. Congrats.

I wish for a phone that actually obeys me.

 

Granted, but it is slower than the first computers so orders will be awhile

I wish I had more time to catch up with an old friend I was just talking to

 

Granted but you can only talk by communicating with your feet.

I wish my crush would date me. Lol.

 

Granted. They pelt you with dates in syrup.

I wish I had my own personal make-up artist.

 

Granted, but personal and decent are 2 different things

I wish we could go to Canada's Wonderland again(amusement park for those that don't know)

 

Granted, you can go, but there is a catastrophic malfunction on the first ride you go on, and you end up stuck there for 5 hours.
I wish people would stop forgetting to make wishes after corrupting other people's wishes.

 

Granted but the wishes are unable to be corrupted ever

I wish I was a little bit less sensitive.

 

Granted, but you turn into stone.

I wish I could have more confidence.

 

Granted but you become a self centered arrogant jerk because you are so confident.

I wish my family wasn't so conservative.

 

Granted. But they turn into clowns and cannot stop turning your questions to them into a lame joke

I wish I didn't have to make a wish

 

Granted, but in order to do that you cant write stuff in this thread

I wish I could dance well

 

Granted. You invent a new dance move called the well. Nobody likes it, and you are ridiculed wherever you are recognized as the girl who invented the well.
I wish I had more opportunity to be myself.

 

Granted, you are yourself but no one notices your efforts.

I wish there was a simplified version of politics.

 

Granted, but everybody is unintelligent and shortsighted as a result.

I wish my parents would only come in my room while I'm studying or reading :lol:

 

Granted... but when they do they come together, drunk, and loudly (and amusically...) sing Elvis covers on your bed, for at least six hours.

I wish I could teleport for free to my nearest gender identity clinic.

 

Granted, but they kick you out for appearing unexpectedly in the middle of an operation.
I wish people could have civilized political discussions with others that have opposing viewpoints.