Corrupt A Wish

Granted, but only circles.

I wish I had perfect mental health and confidence.

 

Don't we all?
Granted, you are confident that you can fly and decide to try it. Must I say how this ends?

I wish for, I don't know, a banana? Scratch that, 3 bananas

 

Granted. You get three rotten bananas hidden in your pillowcase.
I wish I was good at card tricks

 

Granted, but you become so proud of your card trick abilities you give away all your secrets, meaning the entire world's population has also become an expert in card tricks.

I wish I could change the way I look at will.

 

Granted, but only one part at a time. Also, changing one part changes another random part to something random, making it nearly impossible to get to where you want or reverse it

I wish I could solve a Rubik's cube blindfolded

 

Granted, but you break the cube in the process.
I wish my PC would stop crashing every time I windows tries to update

 

Granted, it crashes every time it connects to the internet

I wish my mind made sense. Scary stuff in there...

 

Granted! Your mind makes sense, but this makes your life incredibly boring.

I wish my crush would ask me out (or that I had the courage to ask them out).

 

Your crush does ask you out, but after a couple of weeks you start to realize that they get on your nerves :/

I wish it was the weekend already lol.

 

Granted. Unfortunately, your electric bill was supposed to be paid Friday, and you didn't live Friday, so it went unpaid, and you have no electricity.
I wish I had the guts to bring up my gender to my parents (again)

 

Granted, but every time you mention your gender to your parents you lose the use of one finger or toe.

I wish I could live on nothing but apple juice.

 

Your wish comes true from a certain point of view! You literally live on a world comprised of nothing but apple juice. This means there is no solid ground. You must constantly swim, struggling to stay afloat in an infinite apple juice ocean. Are your arms getting tired yet?

I wish Pokemon were real

 

Granted... but then you are confused for a pokemon, captured, and never summoned.

I wish I could tear the fabric of time and spice, just so I can know what sci-fi actors actually mean when something could tear the fabric of space-time.

 

Your wish is granted! You now gain the reality-warping ability to tear the very fabric of time and space. So, intoxicated with your newfound powers, you begin to test them out. You start small at first, trying to stay cognizant of how much power you wield. You turn back the gears of time. Fallen leaves rise back to their branches, regaining their greenish hue. Then you speed up time. The sun and moon rapidly race each other across the sky as each day is reduced to a mere second. Then you explore your space-bending capabilities. All of reality is laid bare before you. You can see into your next door neighbor's bedroom with as much ease as you can explore the farthest reaches of the cosmos. But as time and space lose their meaning to you, you feel yourself becoming less human and more aloof. You are more consciousness now than human, and you feel the tug of the cosmic forces you control sweeping you along in a current that is ever more winding and precipitous. You feel like the very heart of the universe itself, but a heart is unthinking. A heart runs only on involuntary motions. Therefore, it is ironic that as your power expands, your presence of self is increasingly diminished. Your wish came true, but at what cost?

I wish that pizza was always free.

 

That actually sounds awesome.

Granted, but there are no toppings and you have to bake it yourself.

I wish I was amazing at yoga.

 

now i could corrupt this by saying you are now super flexible for ever, but since i am and i know how painful and hard this life is ..i can't

so wish granted, but you are now so amazing everyone wants to look at you doing yoga so you can't do it in peace and quietness ever again.

i wish there was a magic pill that cures all of my diseases

 

Granted, it's a lethal pill. You can't suffer from diseases if you're dead.

I wish people would try harder to get along.

 

Granted.People tried to get along so hard that they can't stand each other anymore. Everyone in the world hates everyone else now.

I wish I would be amazing at Pc games.

 

Granted, but only when a creepy smelly guy sits and watches you playing them, occasionally licking your neck.

I wish I was thin & toned.

 

Wish granted, but you are so thin and so toned that your spine instantly collapses under the weight of your muscle mass.

I wish that PE teachers didn't force us to go out into the cold weather and frostbite our fingers off in the winter