Corrupt A Wish

Granted, but you still had to do it, so now the teacher will yell at you and give you an 'F'.

I wish I could walk in the rain without getting my glasses wet.

 

Granted but you will forever be rained upon and always soaking wet.

I wish that I didn't have to go to school.

 

Granted- you don't have to go to school because you now live there.

I wish I was better at running

 

Granted, but now you can no longer jump.

I wish I always had enough sleep.

 

Granted, but each time you sleep, you sleep for a week.

I wish the haze was gone...it's so windy, but can't open the windows...

 

Granted, the haze is gone... in Indonesia.

I wish that I had enough money in the bank to go clothes shopping.

 

Granted, but you only have enough money for old, tattered clothes. Nothing actually useful.

I wish school wasn't so stressful.

 

Granted, but now everything else is.

I wish my tongue could touch my nose

 

Granted, but you can't move your tongue, so it just sits there, touching your nose, not doing anything.

I wish my friend had more classes with me.

 

Granted, but then they distract you from your work and you failed.

I wish I could have a book of my own poetry published.

 

Granted, but no one reads it.

I wish it would rain chocolate.

 

Granted, but then everyone everywhere would listen to Chocolate Rain nonstop.

I wish snow wasn't cold.

 

Granted, instead, it's so hot that touching it gives you immediate 3rd-degree burns.

I wish I lived somewhere where it snows every winter.

 

Wish granted, but you'll be surrounded by 6 feet of snow every winter so you can't go outside anymore.

I wish i could start with hormones tomorrow

 

I wish i could fly and breath under water!

 

Granted, but you start on the wrong hormones.

Granted, but you can't breathe out of the water and you can only fly one foot off the ground.


I wish I hadn't wasted my afternoon today.

 

Granted, but you'll waste next afternoon.

I wish I could sing as high as Ariana Grande

 

Granted, but next time you sing you will realize you have the vocal cords of a llama.
I wish I had the world's supply of Mars bars.

 

Granted, but you have a Russel sprout every time you eat a Mars bar

I wish I could time travel

 

Granted, but you can only time travel one second at a time, so it's useless.

I wish I had the power of telekinesis.