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connecting in gay community

Discussion in 'LGBT Later in Life' started by skiff, Jan 5, 2015.

  1. skiff

    skiff Guest

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    Hi all,

    I have been out of my marriage 18 months and over those months been very FRUSTRATED by my inability to connect with the gay community. I finally sought out a gay therapist to see if there was something about me. What I learned is... frustrating.

    He is in his 40's and grew up in a progressive west coast area moving to this area to (norteast) be with his partner.

    He told me that what I describe is the norm for this area. Gays are deeply closeted, reclusive and generally unavailable. Leaving the sex seekers as mainstream. He indicated this was not the norm in other areas. Even Boston just 25 mins down the road being more open, healthier and larger populations of gays.

    So it might not be you either but where you live.

    I have been fishing an empty pond. Empty as to what I want to catch. :slight_smile:

    Tom
     
    #1 skiff, Jan 5, 2015
    Last edited: Jan 5, 2015
  2. AKTodd

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    Perhaps you could see about opportunities in Boston? 25 minutes doesn't seem like a very great distance to travel. Or am I missing something about your travel situation?

    Todd
     
  3. skiff

    skiff Guest

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    Hi,

    Visual challanges, night driving is out, and survival job (retail) working late, make "local" my primary option.

    I cannot attend a big gay church in Cambridge due to work hours.

    A better goal is to move but the economy is not spitting out good jobs that can support a metro Boston cost of living. I am hunting though.

    Tom
     
  4. OGS

    OGS
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    Thanks for clarifying Skiff. I have to admit I was thinking the same thing as Todd--I travel 25 minutes to get to work. I think it's great that you are looking at relocating. When I lived in Cambridge Boston was great. Hope things work out to make it possible.
     
  5. skiff

    skiff Guest

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    Hi,

    The point is not about me :slight_smile: but rather that gay culture is very regional even within 25 mins in my case.

    Tom
     
  6. PeteNJ

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    Hello Tom,

    Consider... using one of the gay hook up apps, not necessarily to find a hook up, but as a kind of barometer to the gay life in an area.

    Been looking a moving, too, and I don't want to move to a gay wasteland or be the LGBT pioneer in a neighborhood!

    Best,

    Pete
     
  7. Weston

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    Hey Skiff, have you seen your optometrist lately? I was all but ready to give up night driving and feeling pretty bad about it when I finally made the decision to get some glasses made (I've never worn glasses in my life, except for readers the last few years). My prescription is pretty low, but it makes all the difference in the world. I have no problem driving at night and I realized that for the last few years I haven't been seeing anything very clearly unless it's right in front of my face. Now I wear them all the time.
     
  8. skiff

    skiff Guest

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    Yes, my optometrist is a regular.