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Confused.

Discussion in 'Gender Identity and Expression' started by Melodic, Jun 6, 2018.

  1. Melodic

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    So for the past three years I’ve been rather openly non-binary, but recently I’ve felt very feminine. I honestly don’t know if I still identify as non-binary or if I identify as female now. Everything is just really fuzzy. It feels wrong, like I’m betraying myself. Is this a normal thing? I’m just really confused right now and I figured I’d at least be able to vent here.
     
  2. Hawk

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    Feminine does not necessarily equal female, and vice versa. What made you first think you were non-binary?
    How do you want people to see you? What would make you more comfortable?
     
  3. DemiLiHue

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    What Hawk said is very important and true. But you must also know that you are not betraying anyone, and that how you feel is not wrong or bad in any way. Calm down
     
  4. Melodic

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    I was AMAB, but I never really felt like a boy at all. It just didn't seem like me. At the time, I just couldn't really figure out how I felt about myself and my gender, so I went with non-binary. I guess I never really could figure out my gender for a few years. All along, I knew that even though I identified as non-binary, I would be happier and more comfortable with my body if I were a girl, but I stuck with non-binary, mostly because I'm terrified of change. Recently though, I've just been feeling really dysphoric specifically about not having a girl's body, whereas usually when I got dysphoric it would be because I just didn't feel right in my body in general.

    Also, thank you for replying. It really helped me just to know someone was willing to talk to me about this.
     
  5. Hawk

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    To be fair, I'm also scared of change. Take baby steps if you have to, there's no rush or time limit when you have to figure everything out.
    If you can, wearing female clothes (even under your clothes), makeup, or nail polish might help you achieve more of a feminine look and help you with dysphoria.

    I'm always here if you ever need to talk.

    -Liam
     
  6. Mihael

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    Sorry to interrupt a serious conversation, but I love the drawing style of your avatar, Melodic! Where is it from? :slight_smile:
     
  7. Melodic

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    I'm not actually sure. It's fanart for Solangelo, a couple from Rick Riordan's Percy Jackson series. Sorry I couldn't be more helpful.
     
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  8. Weird Dog

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    I can't say what you are, but I can say that I feel a lot of guilt like this that I'm 'betraying' my gender when I act or dress more feminine, because it never escapes my attention that other people see that as me not 'committing' to being male, even though I'm genderfluid and being several things is a part of my identity.
    So maybe you're gender is multifaceted like mine, or maybe you're just developing a more fem gender expression. I've heard that some people change genders only once in their life, so maybe you experienced a small shift towards one side of the spectrum.
    Consider what specifically feels more feminine, and why that may be.