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Confused

Discussion in 'LGBT Later in Life' started by Dodds, Mar 2, 2018.

  1. silverhalo

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    I assume the first bit is aimed at me and I apologise if it wasn't clear in my post but I'm not sure that it deserved that response. Couples counselling is not just about keeping a relationship together it is about finding out what the best thing is for both parties with the help of someone neutral. So in fact if you understood correctly my advice was to find a couples counsellor in order to help the original poster untangle herself from the situation she feel stuck in and that is making her so miserable but with some help and support from a neutral party.
     
  2. CuriousG74

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    No it was aimed back at myself, I should have said 'I should really think before posting', then the second part was directed at Dodds (sorry for the misunderstanding)
     
  3. silverhalo

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    Hey no worries we all do it sometimes.
     
  4. CuriousG74

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    @Dodds Have things progressed for better or worse since the holiday ? Was it a make or break one ?
     
  5. Dodds

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    No nothing really changed still stuck in same situation wot my feelings for that lady stronger then ever now we bsck at work amd ive found myself starting to like other ladys unfortunately who are all married
     
  6. CuriousG74

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    You need to tell him before it gets too complicated, what if he finds out you're just wanting to stay for the financial security but not wanting him ? Good luck
     
  7. Dodds

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    Hi i hope people dont me sharing this but ive been having thoughts of wanting sex wit sum1 (not my husband) as ive said theres a few ladies i like and keep thinking what it would be like wot them .does any1 else ever think like that
     
  8. CuriousG74

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    Just women, or men as well as women ?
     
  9. Dodds

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    Just women
     
  10. CuriousG74

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    I'd suggest a break between you to gather your thoughts and desires
     
  11. LostInDaydreams

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    Yes, but I'm not usually interested in more than one person at a time. As long as it's just thinking about it, and not planning to act on it, I think you're ok.

    A good idea, but can be hard to manage with children. Would you be able to sleep in separate rooms?
     
  12. Dodds

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    4 nights of the week hes not here as works night shift
     
  13. Dodds

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    Ive come to relise im never going to be happy in my life as im never going to leave him the reality of that and cuming out os just to much amd i lose to much
     
  14. CuriousG74

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    But you're also consigning yourself and him to a life of unhappiness, what about dropping hints about how you feel then gauge it from there ?
     
  15. silverhalo

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    What is it that you fear losing?
     
  16. Dodds

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    Family and friends
     
  17. CuriousG74

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    What do you think he would do if your husband found out? Or if you told him??

    People can be understanding and sympathetic, especially if you are having a tough time and even more so if you are confused by your sexuality. You don't have to tell everyone at once, others on here have mentioned telling only a close friend at first, then there's the delivery of the news, you could write it down, send it via email even, or just outright sit him down and explain.

    However I don't think he'd be so understanding about your later comments about not wanting to be with him, and especially staying with him just for the financial security. If it was me I'd be looking to part company as I don't think this is fair on you both, especially him.

    However if he wasn't to know about that, would you be happy to let him find company elsewhere for let's say entertainment/companionship purposes (shoot me for want of a better way of putting it) , but still remain a couple? And you could maybe explore your feelings?

    Whichever way you look at it, it's a tough decision but personally I think he needs to be told about your feelings.

    How are things between you both?? As you started this thread back in March, has there been any action (pardon for asking)? And as it's now September, 6 months is a long time without bedroom gymnastics.

    Keep us posted
     
  18. Dodds

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    There's been no sex for months ud think he would say sumthing but he doesnt. I asked him last night what's wrong as hes beem acting diff for a few weeks but he says nothing's wrong
     
  19. CuriousG74

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    OK, that post took me a long time to write, thought you might have a had more answers than that :slight_smile:
     
    #319 CuriousG74, Sep 18, 2018
    Last edited: Sep 18, 2018
  20. Dodds

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    Bit harsh. Im not just in it for money but its a hugh thing when ive got kids to think about. Part of me loves him that's not saying i wamt to be with him cos he doesnt make me happy but no i would not like it if got wit sum1 esle when were together. I would be fine for him to move on if we split up