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Confused

Discussion in 'LGBT Later in Life' started by Dodds, Mar 2, 2018.

  1. Dodds

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    So last weekend the lady i like picked me up we wemt out just shopping but it was best 4 hours of my life. We work in school amd today was my last day wit her :frowning2: for 6 whole weeks .
     
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  2. CuriousG74

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    How are you going to cope? Are you going to try and make a go with your husband?
     
  3. LostInDaydreams

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    Try to distract yourself. Focus on doing things with your children.
     
  4. Dodds

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    Things are difficult wit my husband hw know works 4 night shifts in a row then 4 off so we dont see much of esch other so its kinda nice. Yeah i will just focus on the kids
     
  5. LostInDaydreams

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    Spending less time together does make it easier.

    We're here if you ever need to vent/talk.
     
  6. CuriousG74

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    Have you got anything planned for them? Anything you can do while he's working/sleeping
     
  7. silverhalo

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    As the others have said keeping busy is a good distraction, you also have everyone here on EC.
     
  8. Dodds

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    Thanks every1 its been over a week now since i saw her ive got to just realise its never going to happen get over her and move on wit my life and if that means staying wot my husband then so be it
     
  9. silverhalo

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    Hey, I'm sorry you are struggling. If she is straight or uninterested I agree moving on is the best thing. That doesn't have to mean staying with your husband though. The 2 are not connected.
     
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  10. CuriousG74

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    Or if you are, be honest about your feelings, it's not fair on either of you
     
  11. Dodds

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    Update my marriage is a joke we dont have sex we dont hig we domt kiss we sumtimes barely speak but im still here cos i have to put my family 1st. I havent saw the lady i like for 4 weeks but text her the other day hopefully going for lunch Friday. Im looking forward to it but sumtimes she cancels and it upsetd me so I'm trying not to get exctied
     
  12. LostInDaydreams

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    My relationship is much the same. Neither of you can be happy in this situation.

    Do you want to kiss and have sex with him? Do you want to have long conversations with him?

    If yes, then talk to him about it. If no, then makes plans to leave.
     
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  13. silverhalo

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    I don't think staying has to be the only answer in putting your family first. I totally understand that having a family and children means you have to make sacrifices but not to the total detriment of your health. What your kids need more than anything is a happy and stable mum and sometimes you can't be that if you are that unhappy in your situation. Do you really want your kids to grow up thinking that is what a relationship is about? Because if that's all they have ever known that is what they will search for when they are adults, is that what you want for them?
     
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  14. CuriousG74

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    On the update, do you try and initiate anything, do you try and speak to him ? communication is a two way street.
     
  15. Dodds

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    I dont feel attracted to him so no i dont wamt to have sex or anything wit him but i feel cos I'm stuck here we need to show kids we are ok and spend together ive met up wot sum of fiends female during the hols and theyve said u kbow andy could have cum but i pefer them to him
     
  16. CuriousG74

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    Do you think there was a point when you just thought 'Had enough ?', don't like him anymore, or was it when your 'crush' for want of a better word appeared ? Whatever you do, you must be happy, don't stay with him because it's for the best for the kids, you have to be happy as well
     
  17. LostInDaydreams

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    I don't think it's possible to act in a way that would show children things are all OK, when you are so deeply unhappy in your relationship. You live with your children, they pick up on things. You can't keep a front up all the time, every single day. It'll only get harder.
     
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  18. Silveroot

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    Hey Dodds. I was a child that lived in an unhappy family. My mother told me for years she thought I'd be happier if she stayed in the marriage, but actually the longer this continued, the less happy we all were.

    I know you're scared, and that things can go wrong, but how worse can they get? Children are sensitive to the mood in the house, and yes they might get mad at you but it's for everyone's good.
     
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  19. Dodds

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    Im not in a place where o can just leave i dont earn enough to be able to support myself never mind the kids amd as bad as thst sounds practal wise i need him
     
  20. silverhalo

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    You could speak to citizens advice to see if there is any help that you could get so that you can leave your situation.