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Confused as to what or who i am

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by HERTSODDBALL, Jul 17, 2013.

  1. HERTSODDBALL

    Regular Member

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    Hi I am struggling, I have put up two posts but don't seem to be getting any answers so thought will try in here. To make it easier i have copied & pasted below my two posts.

    As my son has recently come out to me as gay it has sparked off what i thought was well locked away emotions. I fully support my son & love him dearly so no problems there. The problem i now face is that i don't know where or who to turn to, a brief life run down might explain where i am at. As a teen at school i had secret boyfriends as well as girlfriends, this was not a problem until some people found out about the gay side of me. After being bullied & beaten i decided i would suppress my gay feelings & i locked them away. Several girlfriends later i got married which came with 2 stepchildren, we then had my son life seemed ok even though the feelings were still in the back of my mind. I am now separated & live with the two boys. Due to my son coming out is seems to have unlocked my past & now i don't know what to do. my gay son knows about me as i thought it only fair on him to know what he was going through i do understand, the other two don't know. I also have a girlfriend who i have emotions for but she is now aware that i am not sexually attracted to her she says she does not have a problem with it. I know for a fact now i am sexually attracted to men. I am not very good at putting into words how i feel so this has been a marathon for me, i just need help & advice & people to talk to. I am not sleeping very well as my mind seems to go into overdrive at night. Well i think that says it all as brief as i can.

    Hi all
    This is only my second thread on here, I put a thread yesterday in the welcome lounge, those of you who left your thoughts i thank you. As from reading many other threads my next question seems to be an ongoing one. I am now struggling with my identity am i gay or bi or something completely different, I was definitely bi as a teen as i got as much out of girls as i did out of boys. Growing up did the married thing got two stepchildren & one of my own of which he is gay, now separated & sorting divorce. I have a girlfriend but we do not have sex as she knows about my past & i have told her i an not sexually attracted to her but i love her. She accepts me for who i am, but i am now feeling i would like to explore my gay side but i am feeling scarred & mixed up. I don't know if my feelings for my girlfriend are just a way of my brain saying don't rock the boat & stay straight, but the other bit of my brain says you need male company. I know i am rambling on but i have no one to talk but you folk, which brings me onto my next question I do have two gay friends that just live up the road should i tell them about me ??. My head hurts i don't sleep thinking about it, so confused. :icon_sad::bang:
     
  2. rose94

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    Hi,

    You're in a really confusing situation and I'm not surprised that you are feeling as you are. If you don't mind me saying, the situation with your 'girlfriend' seems a little odd. She knows and I presume she still has sexual wants and desires? I only ask because I wonder how serious the relationship is, whether you're both open to the other partner having sex outside the relationship, whether the relationship is anything more than close friends?

    This leads to my next point; you seem frustrated by your desires to be with another man, so...try it out! Go out and meet new people and you never know what the future holds. Good luck with finding out who you are and in supporting your son. :slight_smile:
     
  3. lowkey

    lowkey Guest

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    Would you ever share a guy with your girlfriend? Would it turn you on seeing a guy cum in your girlfriends mouth? I think this way you might be able to sexually satisfy your urges and at the same time stay in a romantic relationship with your girlfriend. You might even develop sexual feelings seeing her get naughty with another guy, with you. Obviosuly a bisexual or full on gay who would do it would be even better. Just a thought.

    I think people can love anyone romantically, you might have a preference written in you, but sometimes you can't control who you are fond of. If she is on your mind, plain and simple she's on your mind, just be happy and don't question it. Question anything to much you will cause confusion and discomfort
     
  4. Aster Tataricus

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    First off, Congrats on your son coming out, and yay father and son bonding time! ^_^

    Secondly. Well you said it your self that your bi. You find men and women attractive, but the real question on your mind is. Who do I want to be with? A man or a woman? O_O

    Well you sound like you want to get in touch with your gay side and get some suppressed desires out of the way huh? I think I read that correctly >_>

    Meet guys, get it ON. You will probably think clearer when you get that off your chest.

    The rest well. You sort it out yourselve ^_^ It sounds corny, but "Life really is a journey, where one finds oneself" Think on your current situation, and where you hope to be. What you want, and how you want to live the rest of your life.

    Be honest with your girlfriend or girl-friend <_< If you really love her and want to stay with her, then be blunt. But if you love her, but want to be with someone else, be it male or female. Be a bit more considerate and gentle. Men and women, no matter if they say that they are fine or look ok, still feel hurt and rejected when not wanted.
     
  5. lowkey

    lowkey Guest

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    He said he doesn't have female attraction
     
  6. HERTSODDBALL

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    Thanks everyone for your thoughts, I think i need to take some me only time to try & figure things out.