Im currently almost 3 years into a relationship with another woman. Ive always identified as bisexual but a few years ago I had the chance to freely date women (conservative family, moved away) and I realized i felt more comfortable with the lesbian label rather than bisexual. Ive never really enjoyed penetrative sex and i find mens genitalia a little disgusting. A few days ago I met a guy and I got hit with how violently i was attracted to him. I have found myself fantasizing about having sex with him and I dont know what to do. I feel so guilty every time I interact with him or with my girlfriend and just thinking about using the lesbian label. I’d appreciate any words of advice
finefurnishing…..I usually catch people when they make their first post in the "Welcome Lounge" but I missed you there, so I'll catch back up to you here! …..Hello and a big LGBTQIA+ welcome to Empty Closets! I can remember the first post that I made on EC. I was desperate for help and I got the help that night that I so needed. I hope that we can help you in the same way that I received help. The most important thing to remember about Empty Closets is that we do care about you! We're very glad that you found us here on EC and hope that we can answer questions, give you support and provide a place to vent (as long as it's not violent! ) when that becomes necessary! This is a safe community of loving, caring and very supportive people and we will do our best to help you blend into the community. *****There are 18 different sub-forums here that you can check out, join in the conversations or start your own thread/conversation. When I first joined Empty Closets I was in need of a lot of support and encouragement and I found it here…EC is a safe place. I hope that you'll find good things here too! Folks here will talk to you and share...you don't have to be afraid of asking questions...we're glad to have you! Empty Closets is all about making connections and giving LGBTQ folks a voice when they otherwise don't have one in their day-to-day lives. Some info on how to navigate EC: When you have made at least 10 posts on various threads you will be able to post messages on a member's Profile Page. Just click on a member's Avatar Picture and then click on "Profile Page" in the dialogue box that pops up. You'll then be on their Profile Page and there will be a box that says: "Write Something”. When you have been on EC for a few weeks and have made at least 50 posts on various forums, you can apply for Full Membership. Only A Full Member can send Private Messages (PM) and then only to other Full Members and share personal contact info. Right now you can only send a PM to a Staff Member as that is always possible. Here is a quote from the Full Membership information forum: *****To be eligible you must be a member of Empty Closets for a minimum of two weeks, and have a minimum of 50 posts. These posts must be across numerous forums (Fun & Games does not contribute to post count), and consistently posted across a minimum of two weeks. You wouldn't be eligible, for example, if you registered, had no activity for two weeks, and then returned to post 50 times on your 14th day of membership. *****Well, as I said, we're very glad you found us! If you have any questions at all, you can send me a Private Message as you can always send a staff member a Private Message. …..David
Why do you have to interact with this man at all? do you work at the same place or have some overlapping social circles. Or something similar. I would actively avoid him as best as you can until you can figure out all your feelings for your girlfriend. Work towards coming to a decision to totally dedicate yourself to her or break up and move on. Take a step back and process everything.
We work on the same team together I have to see him 9 hours a day 7 days a week I also live a couple hours away from my girlfriend and we dont see each other too often (for context)
Wow you put in over 60 hrs a week with no days off for work. that's impressive. I can see how it would be challenging to visit your girlfriend with that schedule. I also see how that makes it difficult to avoid him. I would try to keep interactions with this coworker as professional and minimal as possible, until you have time to fully process your feelings for your girlfriend. It seems like there are some personal questions and possible doubts about your relationship you may need to address. Again, work towards coming to a decision to totally dedicate yourself to her or break up and move on. Take a step back and process everything.
It's fine to enjoy fantasy and to be attracted to people, so I wouldn't feel too guilty about it. If you're bisexual, its no surprise that you find some men attractive. What is it about him that is attractive to you, that other men don't have?
damn thats my bad i meant to say 5 days a week not 7 sorry and thank you for the advice, i will definetely sit with this for a bit and really think about things.
