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Conflicting Feelings

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by Jesse23, Jun 27, 2017.

  1. Jesse23

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jun 27, 2017
    Messages:
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    Location:
    Texas
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Not out at all
    I began talking to this guy a few days ago when we met online. We had initially intended for it not to be serious, but some how, just hanging out to chat has turned into a meeting for a possible date tomorrow. This would be great news to anyone else, but I have a few hang ups. I am still in the closet, and this is my first gay experience.I feel like this happened because of me being too flirtatious over text. My ideal is for this to be casual, with us two just hanging out like we originally planned, but I'm not sure if we could just be friends after flirting for so long. I feel like I'm complicating things by egging him on. I really don't want to be in a relationship, and have been actively avoiding romancesince because of it. Avoiding it seemes to not have been a wise choice. I want to be romantic with him, but I don't want a relationship. What it all boils down to is I don't want him to get the wrong impression. What should I do?
     
  2. Gravity

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Nov 1, 2011
    Messages:
    321
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    256
    Location:
    United States
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Not sure if the date or hanging out has already happened, but if you have these personal boundaries, I would simply tell him up front what you're comfortable with, what you're not comfortable with, and see if he's okay with that. If he's fine with it, then by all means spend time with him. If he's not okay with what you need, then it might not be the right person for you right now, and that's okay.

    Being the first time you've met another gay guy probably adds to the nerves - but there's no reason you two can't spend time together, assuming you're both comfortable with whatever limits.

    And if you did get together earlier this week, hope it went well!
     
    Jesse23 likes this.
  3. JaimeGaye

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    May 30, 2017
    Messages:
    481
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    Location:
    Illinois
    Gender:
    Genderqueer
    Gender Pronoun:
    They
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Some people
    OP be up front and honest with your partner of interest
    Tell him this is your first time actually tasting the forbidden fruit and it may well release the animal in you so if it happens it does not mean you are willing to commit to one on one relationship with him.
    Honesty sets the boundaries and expectations one has when going forward into a sexual connection.
    If your prospective partner is unwilling to accept this from you or is expecting the relationship to become more than what you want it is better to let him know earlier than later in the progress of negotiation. HTH
     
    Jesse23 likes this.