Hello all, Theo here. I'm an RAF air cadet and I am hoping to apply for the rank of Corporal. The main problem is, I'm a very quiet and reserved person and the current corporals and sergeants have said that I must have confidence. Last parade night my anxiety was bad, and became worse when they decided to put me in charge as a sort of test. It didn't go to plan and I didn't seem confident, thus the cadets wouldn't listen properly and were easily distracted. So my question is, how can I look, act and- most importantly- FEEL more confident?
You need to build actual confidence. It's hard to pass off having confidence if it is not there to begin with. And building confidence is very achievable. To build confidence, you need to make yourself vulnerable. You need to take risks, open up, expose yourself. As you put yourself in situations where you take a risk and make yourself vulnerable, one of two things happen: A) you have a positive experience from the risk you took; or B) your experience was less than positive, but you realize you are still ok from having done it. When these two outcomes occur, you begin to build confidence. Making yourself vulnerable requires that you push yourself and your limits. Get out of the reserve and quiet mode and take the first step. So go ahead, start making yourself vulnerable and building confidence. Your asking the question which means your ready to take that step!
Hi Foxears , Don't forget it was your first one in charge of your troops so having the guts to do that was amazing. It's something i couldn't have done similar to public speaking. Have you got a bunch of non RAF friends even 2 or 3 who you could take out to a field and pratice with? Could you try the if you misbehavor run laps or pushups? If one sees thier error the other might follow suit. you could alsway taxi driver it and pratice infront of a mirror. Like many sports people they have visualise winning as going in with the mind set of losing is not good. Positive mental attitude .
Hey Foxears, The main way to build confidence is by doing. Something that can help with that is KNOWING what you're expected to do. So studying and practicing the commands and movements to the point where they seem second-nature to you can boost your confidence. Also, perhaps it might help if you put on a 'command' persona when you are in charge; basically pretending that you are an actor in a play with a very specific, well-defined role. (It's a little like putting on a 'straight' persona for people that you are not Out to.) This command person could have a stern gaze, belt out orders in a strong, clear voice that comes from the diaphram, and simply implements a correction if an error is made. Part of pulling that off is to create a mindset for yourself so that, if things don't go exactly to plan, instead of worrying about it or getting upset the persona thinks "getting out of sorts or panicking is counterproductive, so I just need to find the best way to correct the situation and get back on the plan. So that's exactly what I'm going to do." In terms of nervousness/anxiety, I've found that the best way to deal with that is to channel it into positive energy. Thus, if I think my voice is about to shake, I will intentionally speak more strongly and loudly. I also find that if you can channel your nervous energy by focusing even more strongly on the task at hand and doing it to the best of your ability. Generally the confidence that other see is about your outward behavior, not any internal chaos that is going on in your mind. If you outwardly appear to be in charge and have things under control, then others won't see any self-doubt lurking in your own mind. Just some thoughts.
Hey OnTheHighway. You have a good point, I really do need to try and put myself out there- we adapt from experience and I cannot grow without actually doing things first. What type of things should I start off with? Do I jump in at the deep end or take smaller steps first? Beagle, you also have provided really good advice. Practice is key to these things, but physical punishment is generally not allowed at cadets- especially if it's being implemented by a cadet. I won't earn their respect, I'll simply force them to comply and neither myself of others will benefit. Quantumreality, heck if I know what I'm doing anymore. Haha. You're right, though. It will help to know the commands well and be able to perform them in practice before expressing them in person. Preparation is a good idea and I should be working on strategies in order to appear and build up to being more confident. I believe that my main problem is the anxiety and the inability to control it properly. Does anyone have any management tips for prevention of anxiety progressing during these nights and to tone it down when it gets to the extent that I am shaking?
I can speak from experience as both a former Air Cadet and a currently serving RAF regular Corporal. Confidence is all about letting your fears and worries slip away and cracking on with the task at hand. Easier said than done. The best advice I can offer you is that you need to imagine how it would feel if all goes according to plan. How would you feel he the task went well? Even if your performance isn't perfect (nobody is), but it gets completed, imagine the elation and joy it will bring to accomplish it. Even if the tasks fail, if you have given clear direction and have offered a clear plan (even if someone else comes up with the plan, if you are leading the team you must take ownership of it and use it as you own) and the plan goes to pot, it's all about clear direction. Forethought and planning with confidence comes with time and experience - don't get bogged down on how you would hope it goes, just stand up straight, have an ear on everything, manage your time, pay attention to everything that is happening. If the task goes in a different direction, rain it back in, clearly. It's your lead, not theirs. Don't say 'I'm in charge' as the team will notice your lack of confidence. Just have courage in your convictions. If it goes to pot, meh, there will be other opportunities. Trust me, all the best leaders have felt exactly as you are now, but they have used the anxiety and flipped it over to excitement - the feelings and emotions are almost identical. Believe in yourself. You can do it!
DMode88, Wow it truly is helpful to hear advice from someone which experience in the area. To summarise your response, the way you conduct yourself and your attitude towards the task are key to leading effectively. Is that right? While we're here, I'd like to ask you if you know if LGBT people are generally accepted within the RAF, especially transgender people. I know of one trans woman who is out and accepted, but do you think that would go for each area? I am hoping to pursue a career within the Royal Air Force and this would be really helpful.
Firstly, attitude is everything. You will naturally conduct yourself well if you have a positive and infectious attitude, as you will instantly display more confidence and your peers/subordinates will notice this and pick up on it - so long as they as willing. So always conduct yourself well, don't rise to 'bait', remain calm and quickly move on from negativity. Never get drawn into an argument over trivial things - instead offer debate and discussion. Secondly, the RAF has the 'Freedom Foundation' that supports all personnel both in the workplace or in your personal life. They offer advice and are a great place to start if personnel have and questions that only LGBT+ people can answer. I am accepted at work and I know of many others from our community that are. Just like in life outside the RAF, there will be a small amount of narrow mined people - but this is rare. If anything does happen, there is a very strict code of conduct and anti bullying policy that will administer the appropriate correction/punishment. I have never seen it get to that though, you are free to live your service as you like it and most people will just leave you to it. You are more likely to encounter the odd nosey git who just wants to ask questions - but it's up to you how you answer this as just like everywhere it's nobody's business. My management right from the CO down are fully supportive. There is 'diversity and inclusion' training that takes place every year to further reinforce an inclusive service. LGBT+ people are fully supported by the service. There are LGBT+ reps on nearly every camp to offer support where needed too, these are part of the Freedom Network. There is no need to worry, the RAF values and rewards individuals efforts, regardless of orientation. There are transgender pilots but to name one. I know of several transgender people from across the trades and ranks from SAC Suppliers to Chief Tech IT Technicians. We're embraced by the service, and even take part in pride in London. It's a stark contrast to 20-30 years ago, and the service should be praised. Live your dreams!
